:::RHMT::: Real Home Made Turbo
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Urban Indian on December 17, 2009, 03:18:46 AM
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Is this a repost? This is hilarious as fuck.
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191&CJAID=10409403&CJPID=3179973 (http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191&CJAID=10409403&CJPID=3179973)
his other fucked up threads about trying to get dates
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpost.php?p=417479871&postcount=2249 (http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpost.php?p=417479871&postcount=2249)
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpost.php?p=417487541&postcount=2255 (http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpost.php?p=417487541&postcount=2255)
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How did you find a thread on a Body building site ???
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that guy is hopeless, he has no clue how to pick up women, lol you should see his videos lol
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How did you find a thread on a Body building site ???
I do steroids
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I call BS. No one can be that fucking retarded and the story has loop holes like a mother. You don't use public restrooms but you use a strangers restroom that you are on a first "date" with? Again, you can't use a public restroom but carry around random ass bottles to piss in?
The story of the guy who was doing first time anal and squirted too much lube in the chick was much more funny.
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The story of the guy who was doing first time anal and squirted too much lube in the chick was much more funny.
http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml (http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml)
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Ahhhhh tuckermax
this story is still funny, stop ruining it
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Ahhhhh tuckermax
this story is still funny, stop ruining it
Not really, he just sounds like a A) complete retard B) shitty liar (no pun intended) C) All of the beside
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Tell me a story then Doug
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yeah doug, tell me a mother fucking story.
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In for a story :yes:
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Just call me Dr. Seuss bitch
So this is back in 2003. I'm dating a preachers daughter who I turned into the biggest whore the world has seen.
It's Friday night and I just got ready and left to pick up the girlfriend to head off to the movies. It's winter time and is cold as fuck out, the old pimpin EF hatch has the heat on lock down though. I get to her house, shoot the shit for a bit with her parents, and then we head off.
We get to the mall and I eat at Cajun Cafe who has the bomb ass cajun bourbon chicken that I eat even though I know it's going to fuck my stomach up. So we get done and leave to the movies. Coming down University Drive traffic is a bitch just like any other Fri. night. I look up in my review mirror and see a big ass Dodge Ram swerving in and out of traffic [three lanes on each side of the road with turning lane in middle] trying to get ahead of everyone. I'm in the far left lane and see the truck coming up in my review so I put on my signal and get over in the middle lane. After a few seconds I look up and see nothing but headlights (Ram) riding in my back window. After a few more seconds it pisses me off and tell the chicka to hold on. I tap the brakes for a split second and then gun the gas. As I look up in the review again I see the truck sliding at about a 45* angle across the road. I continue on to only have the truck fly up beside me in a minute. It's some O0 holding his hand out the window like a gun and yelling. I simply slip off into traffic as I am now on the parkway and his big ass truck can't follow.
We get to the movies quite a bit early and the girlfriend is freaking out still. For some reason the movies are semi dead this night with the side parking lot completely empty. So as we sit there talking, yada yada, next thing you know I'm parking in the corner parking spot (furthest away from the door and on the side of the theater). So I lay the back seats down in the EF hatch and get to fogging up the windows.
Out of nowhere this white van drives by creeping really slow. It goes to the back of the parking lot and comes back getting slower as it gets close to my car. First thing I think is great fuckers are about to try and break into my car (as the windows are completely fogged up and we are in the back). Next thing I know I see a shadow and then someone bend down and look into the window. All of a sudden I see a gun and first thing I think is fuck I'm getting robbed now. Guy starts screaming "Get out of the car, get out of the car!". So I reach up and open the passengers side door and get out. Now keep in mind all I have on is my boxers.
So this fucker dressed all in black stands there with a gun pointed at me and ask what are you doing? Now for some reason the first thing I blab out is "Nothing man, for real, we are waiting till we get married till we have sex". He looks down the boxers I have on don't have a button so the captain is at full fucking mass and sticking wide out in the cold. He gives me a weird look and says "I could have shot you, I saw your jacket hanging on the seat and thought you were stealing stuff out of the car". I look over and see the rent a cop logo on the van and then I reply with "Why the fuck would I pull my jacket off to steal stuff?". So we exchange some words, he threatens to call the cops, I tell him go ahead it's private property and he is the one pulling a gun yada yada he goes on and tells me he better not see me there again.
So I get dressed and get back in the car. He pulls off, I get the knob slobbed on then move the car around closer to go in. As I walk in he's standing there talking to his rent a cop buddies and starts to walk toward me. I simply reply with next time you point a gun at me you better shoot me. He simply turns and walks away.
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Next story.
So it's Sat. evening and we decide to head to the theater early before it gets ridiculously over crowded. So as we are sitting there the ho bag get's all frisky and gets shit going that is irreversible. We are at the Hollywood 18 and in the theater all the way around the right corner. When you leave the theater room there is a set of bathrooms to the right that there is no cameras around and no one is in.
Well we get to doing our thing (handicap stall has hella room) and I must say the toilet makes a wonderful prop with many imaginative positions (make sure you sanitize that shit first). Now with that being said we weren't paying attention to the time. We finish up and she goes out, washes her hands, and heads out to make sure no one is outside/coming down the hall. She was suppose to cough if someone was coming.
Next thing I know I hear her coughing like bitch has bronchitis. I hear foot steps which I know isn't hers as she didn't have on heels. Then another and another. Chick sits on the toilet next to me and is talking to the chick in the stall next to her. All of a sudden she lets out the rankest fart you have ever heard. I'm sitting there trying to hold in my laughter as they just keep talking like nothing. Then the smell hits. I tell you, I have never smelt anything that evil come from something living.
A few seconds later the bathroom fucking fills up. There are people waiting in line to get into the stalls and keep knocking on my door. I just keep mumbling "umhm" in the most womenish voice I can make. Over the next few min I hear more nasty ass sputtering farts mixed with a few bitches opening wrappers of which one floated down and over and landed on the floor by my foot (damn tampon wrapper).
So after I sit there for about 20+ damn minutes the bathroom finally clears out. She comes back in to tell me it's all clear and I head out. As I get out to the hall way she says the movie we were in got out right as she walked out. She thought it was funny and continued to laugh over the next few days and making jokes. I however was scarred and can never look at a prissy bitch again knowing what sounds and smells lay within.
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How did you find a thread on a Body building site ???
I do steroids
celltech is pretty hardcore and should not
be jokingly talked about on a non steroid forum. Don't want uninformed young kids trying it.
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The story of the guy who was doing first time anal and squirted too much lube in the chick was much more funny.
http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml (http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml)
Tucker Max is a fake and was outed on the Opie and Anthony show. dude has always been a writer and makes no bones about trying to be a writer in a new genera of "frat boy slam beers pound sluts" category also known as Douchebaggory.
Listen to the self professed "Alpha male" and his lisp and pussy voice. after i heard him talk i didn't get any sort of alpha impression at all. I certainly don't think women toss themselves at him like he plainly says either.
This link is about the story where he picks up a girl drunk and gos to park her car and runs it into a doughnut shops glass front window. radio show calls him on the fact that there is No police report for it whatso ever.
Dailymotion - Tucker on O&A part 2 - a video (http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6mw1_tucker-on-oa-part-2)
He was funny for a while in like 02 but then you realize no one can have that many "Holy shit" stories and not make a few up here and there. I mean if you add up all his stories and all its like for a 6 year period bat shit crazy things happened to him like the buttsex story like every other day.
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Doug your story just SUCK, the first one was way funnier!
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its funny, but seems fabricated. if i got to go real bad, i make something up. my ass comes first.
ive done it before, said i was not feeling well or i had made previous arrangements.
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well played doug
well played
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The story of the guy who was doing first time anal and squirted too much lube in the chick was much more funny.
http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml (http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml)
Tucker Max is a fake and was outed on the Opie and Anthony show. dude has always been a writer and makes no bones about trying to be a writer in a new genera of "frat boy slam beers pound sluts" category also known as Douchebaggory.
Listen to the self professed "Alpha male" and his lisp and pussy voice. after i heard him talk i didn't get any sort of alpha impression at all. I certainly don't think women toss themselves at him like he plainly says either.
This link is about the story where he picks up a girl drunk and gos to park her car and runs it into a doughnut shops glass front window. radio show calls him on the fact that there is No police report for it whatso ever.
Dailymotion - Tucker on O&A part 2 - a video (http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6mw1_tucker-on-oa-part-2)
He was funny for a while in like 02 but then you realize no one can have that many "Holy shit" stories and not make a few up here and there. I mean if you add up all his stories and all its like for a 6 year period bat shit crazy things happened to him like the buttsex story like every other day.
I read his shit years ago and always thought a lot of it was fake and/or embellished. It doesn't matter it's still entertaining as hell.
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Meh. its told from an Im awesome perspective. if it were just heres some stories it would be ok but the fact that its supposed to be his escapades cause hes such an awesome asshole i take issue when i realize its all a sham.
You should check his forum if its still up. its was ridiculous.
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I liked the MSPaint. Funny w/o having to read anything.
Seriously though, who is stiupid enough to not shit in a public bathroom?
BTW it's not difficult to shit with an errection. Not easy, but not rocket science. :mexi:
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Doug your story just SUCK, the first one was way funnier!
Yeah that's what a real story is like, see the difference
The story of the guy who was doing first time anal and squirted too much lube in the chick was much more funny.
http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml (http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml)
Tucker Max is a fake and was outed on the Opie and Anthony show. dude has always been a writer and makes no bones about trying to be a writer in a new genera of "frat boy slam beers pound sluts" category also known as Douchebaggory.
Listen to the self professed "Alpha male" and his lisp and pussy voice. after i heard him talk i didn't get any sort of alpha impression at all. I certainly don't think women toss themselves at him like he plainly says either.
This link is about the story where he picks up a girl drunk and gos to park her car and runs it into a doughnut shops glass front window. radio show calls him on the fact that there is No police report for it whatso ever.
He was funny for a while in like 02 but then you realize no one can have that many "Holy shit" stories and not make a few up here and there. I mean if you add up all his stories and all its like for a 6 year period bat shit crazy things happened to him like the buttsex story like every other day.
I didn't say it was real. I said it was a much better story [that I said was fake the first time I read it] than the original one posted here. I don't mind a good story, but don't try to act like you are going to fool the world and play it off as the truth.
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wtf is with the piss bottle thing? Is that a store your urine for drug tests cause your roided up thing?
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How did you find a thread on a Body building site ???
I do steroids
Tell me your joking, I wish I could go back in time. :'(
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why didnt he just tuck his boner in while he was shitting ???