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[Lowerit]

http://semo.craigslist.org/cto/1672654758.html

Looking for a first car for a teen? This car is absolutely brilliant. It’s got low mileage (68k), has been super reliable, and is excellent on gas. Since you’re likely paying for the gas, this will make things much cheaper on you. I average like 37MPG to a tank. And with such low mileage, it’ll work great for a long long time.

But you wanna know the best reason to buy this car for your kid?

It’s slow as shit. You don’t have to worry about speeding tickets or accidents in this baby. Your kid could have a 1 mile run and hit a brick wall not wearing a seatbelt and not be going fast enough to do shit. And there won’t be any sense in him getting some shitty ass fart can off of eBay – this car has the super slow SPI engine, no sense in trying to make it any faster. It’s a 4-door, so your kid won’t try to put gay ass Lambo doors on it. It is still possible to fit this with a body kit, but if you’d like, for an extra $200, I can stab him in the face if he does this.

It’s a 5-speed, so your kid can’t talk on his cell phone while playing Gameboy and smoking pot – he’ll have to actually pay attention. It also means you won’t have to pay for an automatic transmission when your kid beats the hell out of it. It’s got a new clutch and new tires, so you’ll know if he does burnouts. After all, I’m sure YOU’RE the one paying for tires, right? It’s got an aftermarket head unit in it, so your kid won’t fuck it up when him and his buddies try to wire in a “phat ass system”. It’s already had the speakers replaced too, so he won’t have to tear the door cards on and then look like a retard when he can’t get them back on. It’s got manual windows too, so he can’t fuck up the window motors when he rolls one of his friends heads up in it as a joke. A new battery means when he leaves his headlights on, it won’t leave you totally stranded.

But really though, one of the best parts is that, because it is a 4 door, it will be somewhat embarrassing for him to be seen in. I’m sure you get pissed at him from time to time. Hell, you’re probably mad at him for harassing you into buying him a first car. So get this one. It has no A/C, so you’ll know he’s suffering every time you get mad at him. Pretty satisfying. It’ll bring a smile to your face too, to know he’s rolling around looking like a faggot in a Ford Focus.

So buy this car for your kid. You won’t regret it

[92CXyD]

Its a Foook-ASSS!!!!!!!   lol

At least the seller is honest on the slowness of these cars. ;D

[DRQPQUT]

that add is perfect..

[Urban Indian]

I should post my room for rent ad.

Its pretty epic

[7808]

i love brutally honest CL ads, even better when they tell you your gona look like a faggot buying the car

[trevor72]

It’ll bring a smile to your face too, to know he’s rolling around looking like a faggot in a Ford Focus.

this was good. haha.  nice closer

[malichite]

Fucking hilarious!  I like the part about "for an extra $200, I can stab him in the face if he does this"

[jagojon3]

I should post my room for rent ad.

Its pretty epic

Post it up!

[HiProfile]

I should post my room for rent ad.

Its pretty epic

ROOM FOR HOMO ANAL SEX

That one?

[Urban Indian]

Ok here is my ad


HOLY CRAP ROOMS FOR RENT RIGHT NOW?
That’s right you nomad, finally a nice place to sleep.




WHERE? My place
WHEN? One now, one at the end of March
COST? $450 & $400 Utilities included

ABOUT YOUR FUTURE PLACE YOU NOMAD
- HD PVR (so you can record Meerkat Manor on Animal planet & watch it with me WHENEVER YOU WANT)
- High Speed Wireless Internet
- Need to wash your clothes? NO PROBLEM, washer & dryer are included in that price, I know right?
- You need a place to store your food when you’re not eating it? NO WORRIES this place has the largest kitchen you have ever seen.
- Got a whip? No big there is enough parking for 5 cars in this driveway alone. 10 minute drive to both UNBC & CNC because we are all about higher education here. No Whip? It’s cool; you could throw a rock at the bus stop. But please don’t, we keep it civilized & my neighbors still like me.

What about your new roomie you ask?
UNBC BCOMM student, 21, male, 6’1” 240lbs, straight, non-smoker, social drinker, good looking, you know civilized and shit.

Who I want you to be?
I want you to be a bad ass roomie. Quiet during the week, when I need to study, and when I need to sleep. But still fun & shit yo.
Girls welcome & preferred because I not only live with 2 girls right now, but let’s be honest here. You are normally cleaner & I can watch Matthew McConaughey marathon like nobody’s business.
Students are preferred and a further in-depth Q&A will occur when I interview you.
Call me if you feel you are up to these standards

[hatchboy]

lol thats more of an ad for a life partner than a room mate.

[jagojon3]

levi is a bit metro

[Urban Indian]

I don't want to have a fucking lame ass room mate.

Girl that moved in is pretty cool. And the guy that found my ad from vancouver is a car guy with a 1gz in a corolla. Pretty good if you ask me.

[skinnye]

That's a great ad, here is one I made a few months ago

1982 yamaha seca 650 turbo, I got this thing in a trade right before I left 6 months ago, its been sitting now for about 5, I haven't tried to start it since I've gotten home. It ran when I left, my dad said it started to get a small oil leak right after I left so he stopped riding it for me. Its ugly, turbocharged and if spray painted purple you can look just like prince. I don't have the time to mess with it and just want it gone, I have two other perfectly good motorcycles and I don't like this one.



good:

rare

turbo'd

new front tire

good rear tire

uninstalled new in package ebc front pads

probably worth a lot in parts

clean title

no one wants to steal it



bad:

ugly as sin

no keys, you use a screwdriver

hasn't been run in a few months

needs a front brake master cylinder

odo shows 34,000 previous owner claims motor was rebuilt 7k ago but I don't believe him



Price: $400 obo or trade let me know what you got, I might even deliver it for you I just want it gone.