Topic: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it? (Read 13720 times)

Foowee · « **on:** May 29, 2010, 10:51:14 PM »

Since you kids aren't engineers/geologists/overeducated/inexperienced morons... How would you plug a hole in the water?

Idk if jb weld will cure under 2200psi or 125ish atomopheres n how ever cold it is down there...

Any ideas?

jagojon3 · « **Reply #1 on:** May 29, 2010, 10:53:57 PM »

This site has engineers, and over educated and inexperienced morons, probably a geologist although I'm unaware of any

I'd use a nuke.

Stealthmode · « **Reply #2 on:** May 29, 2010, 10:57:26 PM »

I'd shove it full of welfare moms, and cap it with a 64 Impala.

jagojon3 · « **Reply #3 on:** May 29, 2010, 10:59:20 PM »

Quote from: Stealthmode on May 29, 2010, 10:57:26 PM

I'd shove it full of welfare moms, and cap it with a 64 Impala.

That begs an mspaint

Joseph Davis · « **Reply #4 on:** May 29, 2010, 11:24:30 PM »

Well, these guys want to use illegal aliens: http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message1059607/pg1

The consensus majority on this site is a hammer and a banana: http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/How-Can-You-Fix-A-Hole-In-The-Ocean/159568

This guy appeals to homosexuals as experts on plugging holes: http://betaboards.ign.com/teh_vestibule/b5296/192419538/r192419557/

Personally? IDK, let me think about it. 20% chance I'll come up with something that sounds really fucking feasible (but may not be/probably isn't for reasons not readily apparent), 80% chance a real zinger. Bonus points and three regrown hair follicles for pulling both off at the same time.

jeffsciv23 · « **Reply #5 on:** May 29, 2010, 11:29:46 PM »

Quote from: Stealthmode on May 29, 2010, 10:57:26 PM

I'd shove it full of welfare moms, and cap it with a 64 Impala.

you got my vote for welfare moms but ive been prepping a 64 all week for paint so im kinda against that one

Hotrodlincoln · « **Reply #6 on:** May 29, 2010, 11:47:23 PM »

Hotpockets, a bakers dozen of them.

highroller54 · « **Reply #7 on:** May 29, 2010, 11:51:57 PM »

First car I ever rode in was a blue 64 impala, I'm not even mexican

jeffsciv23 · « **Reply #8 on:** May 30, 2010, 12:05:17 AM »

im not either but ill post pics once this one is done and put back together

RotaryGeek · « **Reply #9 on:** May 30, 2010, 12:17:51 AM »

I don't know how i would plug it, but its made everything about my side hobby expensive already. I have a reef tank, and corals are already starting to sky rocket. Its only going to get worse too.

bigdaddyvtec · « **Reply #10 on:** May 30, 2010, 12:20:26 AM »

Id stuff it with a blue dash and seal it with the herpes of hundreds of hotsex tainted litle boys..

On a serious note, I suppose I havent really thought about it. Pretty hard to stuff somehting thats spewing 2200PSI at 5K feet underwater, jesus fuck the pressure is CRAZY.

Without some sort of evasive and highly resiliant aproach howeer this thing MAY BE doomed to run its course.

BP:

FUCK YOU

Foowee · « **Reply #11 on:** May 30, 2010, 12:26:20 AM »

Quote from: bigdaddyvtec on May 30, 2010, 12:20:26 AM

Pretty hard to stuff somehting thats spewing 2200PSI at 5K feet underwater, jesus fuck the pressure is CRAZY.

Without some sort of evasive and highly resiliant aproach howeer this thing MAY BE doomed to run its course.

I don't think the well is spewing at 2200 psi... @5k feet there is aproximately 2200psi from the water...

Jorsher · « **Reply #12 on:** May 30, 2010, 12:26:35 AM »

I'd break off a big chunk of California and park it over the leak. Then I would fill it with all the worthless people and criminals, surely causing old cali to sink under the weight of their fat asses.

snm95ls · « **Reply #13 on:** May 30, 2010, 12:28:10 AM »

So is it 2200 psig at depth?

If so, that is pretty intense.

Sounds like the Russians did it right way before BP. Nuke the fucker. BP can drill another goddamn well it the reserve is as big as they say it is.

Foowee · « **Reply #14 on:** May 30, 2010, 12:35:50 AM »

yup...

http://www.calctool.org/CALC/other/games/depth_press

I think pressure is squared as you go deeper... idk for sure, I'm not a diver, yet...

snm95ls · « **Reply #15 on:** May 30, 2010, 12:50:14 AM »

Quote from: Foowee on May 30, 2010, 12:35:50 AM

yup...

http://www.calctool.org/CALC/other/games/depth_press

I think pressure is squared as you go deeper... idk for sure, I'm not a diver, yet...

Eh, I wasn't too clear as to what I meant. I was wondering if that 2200 psi figure was the pressure behind the oil spewing out.

NaturalDecimal · « **Reply #16 on:** May 30, 2010, 01:02:52 AM »

in russia when is time to fix we make big metal hat then drop on

promise wont go no where!

think like this... big metal hat... drop down on - then oil live in hat, hat too heavy to go away! the end.

HiProfile · « **Reply #17 on:** May 30, 2010, 01:18:28 AM »

God damn, why hasn't anyone thought of this:

Buk-welded butt plug, aka buk-plug. Instant success.

Jorsher · « **Reply #18 on:** May 30, 2010, 01:25:33 AM »

Quote from: HiProfile on May 30, 2010, 01:18:28 AM

God damn, why hasn't anyone thought of this:

Buk-welded butt plug, aka buk-plug. Instant success.

Honestly I did consider that, but buk welding would create more holes/fires than it would stop.

sfa22r · « **Reply #19 on:** May 30, 2010, 03:14:06 AM »

The entire NW Fluffy crew. Problem solved.

jagojon3 · « **Reply #20 on:** May 30, 2010, 03:29:13 AM »

Fuck BP

colt45 · « **Reply #21 on:** May 30, 2010, 03:41:09 AM »

well, i've been praying to buhda, but he ain't done shit yet...

chris · « **Reply #22 on:** May 30, 2010, 03:47:54 AM »

turn off the valve

bouncinofftherevlimiter · « **Reply #23 on:** May 30, 2010, 03:58:23 AM »

Quote from: chris M on May 30, 2010, 03:47:54 AM

turn off the valve

well if the BOPs were checked like they were supposed to be, it would have been that simple....

halliburton fuck something up?? never...

2200psi sounds like alot, but we deal with that kind of pressure all the time out here, but when its spewing out of control, it is rather scary...

bob_barker · « **Reply #24 on:** May 30, 2010, 04:30:14 AM »

I'm not sure how deep this fucker is but can they get like a submarine and put a bigger pipe over the exzisting one i mean like a section at a time or something just so they can fill up tankers not the best plan but fuck It doesnt seem like there doing anything else.

j.h.christ · « **Reply #25 on:** May 30, 2010, 05:07:29 AM »

Quote from: bob_barker on May 30, 2010, 04:30:14 AM

I'm not sure how deep this fucker is but can they get like a submarine and put a bigger pipe over the exzisting one i mean like a section at a time or something just so they can fill up tankers not the best plan but fuck It doesnt seem like there doing anything else.

you have any idea what 5000 feet of ocean does to a submersible?

bob_barker · « **Reply #26 on:** May 30, 2010, 05:17:24 AM »

nope fuck the ocean

Joseph Davis · « **Reply #27 on:** May 30, 2010, 05:25:53 AM »

There's submersibles that will go a mile down, but they aren't designed to do work once down there.

j.h.christ · « **Reply #28 on:** May 30, 2010, 05:30:36 AM »

Quote from: Joseph Davis on May 30, 2010, 05:25:53 AM

There's submersibles that will go a mile down, but they aren't designed to do work once down there.

exactly. let alone fucking around with an 80 ton top hat or whatever the fuck they're calling it.

chris · « **Reply #29 on:** May 30, 2010, 05:34:28 AM »

port the hole larger

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Author Topic: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it? (Read 13720 times)

NaturalDecimal

sfa22r

chris

chris