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[Urban Indian]

He gets too drunk to fix his truck or take his beer cans to the depot



http://cariboo.en.craigslist.ca/zip/1466375992.html

i spend more time drinkin and staring at my truck than i do fixin it, so by the time i do get it running i'm too drunk to be bringin the cans back to the depot in the big-city. having random piles of beer cans in the yard does have its perks, they serve as quite an audible alert to intruders wanderin around at night, for the distinctive "crunch" of a budweiser can at three in the morning is sure to rouse anyones curiosity... you could also jb-weld em together and build yourself a weatherproof carport?<---- was my plan.. or, barring that, you could stack em up underneath the chesterfield and be the envy of your friends for being the only person the know with an aluminum lift-kit on the sofa? if your one of those pack-rat type peoples whom have to much clutter on the kitchen counter, just put a couple hundred cans on there an voila! you'll never have a spare square inch to be tempted by... umm, maybe could stack em 5-flats high and have a nice set of matching endtables? make great stocking stuffers! just add a set of tin-snips and a rivet gun and watch the youngins imaginations fly!... umm, great for repairing chevy cab corners, as they're easily shaped and formed to the contours, paintable, sticks well to bondo, and will never rust out on ya!... makes a great replacement shower-head if you have a sharp screwdriver to punch holes in the bottom and a hose clamp off the rad on the ole chev.... good for sugar-cookie cutters, makes a nice perfectly round one, just in time for holiday baking... they make great potatoe-gun practice ammo, don't fly too far, and if theres alot of headwind they'll land back in your yard instead of the neighbours which they were intended to, hence theres some random one's layin out under the snow somewheres. find em and they're yours! be a great family activity if'n your into scavenger hunts or just really love easter.. seriously, christmas is coming which means in-laws wanting to sleep over and what not, i've enough cans to fill that "spare" bedroom right full so you'll no longer feel obligated to house cousin skeeter for a few days like last year.... umm, tired of being guilt-tripped into buyin stale girl guide cookies? just put 97 cases out on the porch, seriously it works, no-more solicitations ...................... seriously, these cans must procreate or something, cause every saturday morning there seems to be more and more... dunno how many i got laying around, but i included a pic of the last time my truck broked and i wasn't able to make it to the depot.... (five weeks worth)

[sewell94]

Zing!!!

[DRQPQUT]

Zing!!!

ZING..

[Dserieshatch]

you could also jb-weld em together and build yourself a weatherproof carport?<---- was my plan..

Was this man made for RHMT 

[oinesra]

I got a craigslist find. I want to sell the fc and get this.

http://jacksonville.craigslist.org/cto/1448401524.html

[jeffsciv23]

heres a post i seen in the rant and raves section of CL, thought it was pretty funny

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'



She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'



Her parents beamed.



'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and rake my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where a homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'



She thought that over for a few seconds; then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you just pay him the $50?'



I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'



... Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

[Dserieshatch]

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/rnr/1469056876.html

[raiden571]

heres a post i seen in the rant and raves section of CL, thought it was pretty funny

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'



She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'


i just told my friend this and he fell out of his chair laughing.
i wouldnt consider my self either since i dont vote/care but it is pretty damn funny/true

Her parents beamed.



'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and rake my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where a homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'



She thought that over for a few seconds; then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you just pay him the $50?'



I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'



... Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

[reddevil]

What the fuck is up with quoting, and thats it?

I already read it mutherfucker!

[Sinister]

What the fuck is up with quoting, and thats it?

I already read it mutherfucker!

he tried replying, but failed, and replied right in the middle of it.

[Whitey]

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/rnr/1469056876.html

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/rnr/1470709340.html

[88dx]

that guy must be trying to sober up, with that few of beer cans around

[Dserieshatch]

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/rnr/1469056876.html

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/rnr/1470709340.html

This one had me laughing for awhile http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/rnr/1471125266.html