:::RHMT::: Real Home Made Turbo

General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: QikEnuF on September 06, 2009, 08:17:18 PM

Title: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: QikEnuF on September 06, 2009, 08:17:18 PM
I'm swipe and wipe guy
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Doug on September 06, 2009, 08:24:34 PM
The question is who sits and wipe and who stands up? I was shocked to find out people sit down and wipe their ass.  ???
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: QikEnuF on September 06, 2009, 08:25:00 PM
The question is who sits and wipe and who stands up? I was shocked to find out people sit down and wipe their ass.  ???

Added.  Who the fuck stands up to wipe?  I stay squatted, don't wanna get the poo all over ma buttcheeks
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: lilpooh21186 on September 06, 2009, 08:25:23 PM
get you salad tossed and ull be a right
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Corey on September 06, 2009, 08:26:26 PM
fold that shit up and stand up to wipe. i hate breakthrough.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: 90boostdaccord on September 06, 2009, 09:18:48 PM
fold to wipe, baby wipes after that, fresh and clean  :noel:
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Robb on September 06, 2009, 09:23:31 PM
You guys wipe yourselves? Sheesh.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Hotrodlincoln on September 06, 2009, 09:24:31 PM
Baby wipes, front to back.fresh and clean
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Towdogg on September 06, 2009, 09:53:11 PM
fold to wipe, baby wipes after that, fresh and clean  :noel:
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: junkyard racer on September 06, 2009, 09:56:56 PM
wiping with baby wipes is probably the best solution to a shitty ass. and standing up to wipe your ass, how the fuck does that work?

Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: bigwig on September 06, 2009, 10:01:49 PM
Threads like this validate my decision that having any sort of faith in humanity is a lost cause.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Sinister on September 06, 2009, 10:05:38 PM
wiping with baby wipes is probably the best solution to a shitty ass. and standing up to wipe your ass, how the fuck does that work?



+1 wtf, and what if you have a shit that has the consistency of a wendy's frosty? do you let it run down your leg? wtf.

I fold and wipe and sit while doing it. The normal way.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: QikEnuF on September 06, 2009, 10:06:10 PM
Threads like this validate my decision that having any sort of faith in humanity is a lost cause.

You are mad because you had your TP rip while wiping, and you got poo on your hands.  Man up
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: jagojon3 on September 06, 2009, 10:46:39 PM
Threads like this validate my decision that having any sort of faith in humanity is a lost cause.

You are mad because you had your TP rip while wiping, and you got poo on your hands.  Man up

Ahh the surprise butthole tickle
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Doug on September 06, 2009, 11:48:21 PM
wiping with baby wipes is probably the best solution to a shitty ass. and standing up to wipe your ass, how the fuck does that work?



+1 wtf, and what if you have a shit that has the consistency of a wendy's frosty? do you let it run down your leg? wtf.

I fold and wipe and sit while doing it. The normal way.

How the hell does sitting down work? I prefer not to have my hand anywhere near a big pot of pissy shitty water. Not to mention if you have the shits it's going to rub all up on your sack.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Sinister on September 06, 2009, 11:53:44 PM
Tell me how standing up works? You dont stick your hand in the poo water, you gotta be careful of that, and you lift your sack to get to it. wtf do you do lol?

(this topic is getting on the verge of revolting)
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Doug on September 06, 2009, 11:56:35 PM
What do you mean what do you do? You stand up and wipe your ass. No sack lifting or poo water dodging involved.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: 90boostdaccord on September 07, 2009, 12:00:05 AM
anybody take metamucil so they don't have to wipe, that stuff always makes me have a clean break, its the best
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: 98redcavz24 on September 07, 2009, 01:27:03 AM
What do you mean what do you do? You stand up and wipe your ass. No sack lifting or poo water dodging involved.

seriously its not science. your getting up anyway. your wiping your ass either way. fucking backdoor niggers
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: 7808 on September 07, 2009, 01:52:22 AM
 if you stand and wipe your probly just making it worse and wiping more.  what the hell.  fuckin lean forward a little and wipe, i give it a couple tried then fuckin it im stepping into the shower for ass-down.

how expensive are baby wipes?  i dont claim any children
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: LS1pwNzJ00 on September 07, 2009, 05:05:55 AM
fold to wipe, baby wipes after that, fresh and clean  :noel:

Plus one, no one wants a poopy asshole, then it gets all itchy all day long, and if you scratch it through your boxers you end up with skidmarks, and sometimes those skidmarks have limited slip stains.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: hatrack48 on September 07, 2009, 09:56:55 AM
if you have to lift your nutsack, your wiping like a bitch
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: 98redcavz24 on September 07, 2009, 11:26:16 AM
im going to take a video of me wiping my ass with money sinister paypal'd me
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: biscuit on September 07, 2009, 12:39:42 PM
Fold the paper and sit down to wipe. ;)
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Jorsher on September 07, 2009, 12:50:02 PM
Sitting down, folded TP, front to back.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: fysh on September 07, 2009, 01:51:27 PM
sitting down, wipe front to back as to make sure not to get any dingleberries in my vagina hair or a UTI. Good wiping hygiene is important.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: VW-Vortex on September 07, 2009, 02:53:41 PM
I stand to wipe, fold a silk cloth (paper is too abrasive) and go back to front then use baby wipes and powder to freshen up.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: ifly87 on September 07, 2009, 03:11:16 PM
I was in egypt this summer, they dont have TP they dont even have toilets, you shit in a hold, wash it down with a bucket of water, wipe you're ass with you're hand and then wash you're hands.

pretty gross, and then I buy dirty cairo street food from those guys.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: 5thgenlx on September 07, 2009, 07:42:36 PM
fold to wipe, baby wipes after that, fresh and clean  :noel:

thats the option i was looking for too. baby wipes are amazing
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Hotrodlincoln on September 07, 2009, 08:49:17 PM
Ate a C-store burrito for lunch almost didn't make it to the pot just now. My lower intestine hates me.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Hotrodlincoln on September 07, 2009, 08:56:53 PM
Edit: I squirted on the waisband of my levis.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Joseph Davis on September 07, 2009, 09:14:12 PM
Where's Julio?  This thread needs him.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: salesmonkey on September 07, 2009, 10:28:14 PM
this is a delicate procedure. first you stand up. becuase well only ladys wipe while sitting on the toilet. if your a man you will stand up and take pride while you wipe your asshole. now if your having troubles reaching your asshole or afraid of getting it "on the cheeks" or just want the spread. lift your lef and place it on something close by like the trash can or what i like to use the edge of the bath tub. now you of course will want to at least double over the paper, and if you got the thin stuff you will want to double it a few times. now you wipe it clean with a couple different wipes. and if you had a messy one, take a extra sheet fold it a few times over and dampen it with some warm water. now the warm water helps loosen that shit that wont come off and just feels good. now depending on your toilet and how much paper you use, you might want to flush the toilet if your using to much paper and droped a major dookey so it doesnt clog. no one wants to plundge a toilet. and if this happens at work fuck it just walk away and blame someone else if anyone asks. make sure to shit if you need to before you going in the shower. no one likes to take a shower then need a shit and then have that tainted feeling on your ass when your done.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: 7808 on September 08, 2009, 01:11:37 AM
if any one of you stand there with your foot up on somthing wiping your ass, then your parents failed you
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: 7808 on September 08, 2009, 01:13:22 AM
(https://realhomemadeturbo.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.icanhascheezburger.com%2Fcompletestore%2F2008%2F11%2F5%2F128703947783730029.jpg&hash=bec32b26c9794aa57358998b77bd27430243fbb4)
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Sinister on September 08, 2009, 01:15:58 AM
Where's Julio?  This thread needs him.

Julio is the expert on shitting your pants, not wiping your ass. He never gets to the toilet in the first place  :?:
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: nos10racer on September 08, 2009, 02:09:59 AM
i to use baby wipes. stay sitting.. i wipe once then fold for a second wipe usually gets it all
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Perfek360 on September 08, 2009, 04:14:48 AM
you know what they say about double ply tp......if your finger breaks through, its because you wanted it to  :yes:
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: nos10racer on September 08, 2009, 08:03:25 AM
you know what they say about double ply tp......if your finger breaks through, its because you wanted it to  :yes:

i have also heard this
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: turbob16hatch on September 08, 2009, 01:27:42 PM
seriously how do you wipe sitting down? wtf.....

Just stand up and wipe, no need for fancy contortions or squatting all funny.

Oh and who buy cheap toilet paper, the last thing I'm doing is cheaping out on something i wipe my ass with.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Jorsher on September 08, 2009, 02:03:47 PM
seriously how do you wipe sitting down? wtf.....

Just stand up and wipe, no need for fancy contortions or squatting all funny.

Oh and who buy cheap toilet paper, the last thing I'm doing is cheaping out on something i wipe my ass with.

It's not that hard to wipe your ass without standing up.  Maybe I'm just skilled.

I lived with a friend that bought single-ply rough toilet paper.

I bought my own baller 2-ply soft stuff and enjoyed every sit.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: brine04 on September 08, 2009, 03:17:04 PM
Wiping Your Butt. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEBt84BP84g#normal)
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: DRQPQUT on September 08, 2009, 03:23:51 PM
Baby wipes, front to back.fresh and clean
+1 nigs
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Foowee on November 16, 2009, 03:36:53 PM
(https://realhomemadeturbo.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdotlumpia.com%2Fmonkey%2Fpictures%2Fbidet.jpg&hash=31e1c77f556122d6fc530ae38b526d181b18d40a)

Just gotta be careful not to burn yourself... 
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: ochoa on November 16, 2009, 03:41:38 PM
it dosn't matter what tp im using i make about 4 wraps around my hand b/c theres no way in hell im getting shit on my fingers
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Teg2boo on November 16, 2009, 04:37:40 PM
Mans don't wipe.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: DRQPQUT on November 16, 2009, 05:28:22 PM
Baby wipes, front to back.fresh and clean
+ 1 baby wipes are the shit they are about 4 bucks and 1 or 2 do the trick fuck toilet paper
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: oinesra on November 16, 2009, 06:24:06 PM
I wipe left to right, across both cheeks.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: random-strike on November 16, 2009, 06:56:43 PM
if any one of you stand there with your foot up on somthing wiping your ass, then your parents failed you
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Robb on November 16, 2009, 07:51:38 PM
I spend more on TP than I do on car parts.  Word.  :noel:
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: snm95ls on November 16, 2009, 08:11:23 PM
Who the fuck stands up to wipe?

What man wipes his ass from front to back?  Do you fuckers sit facing the tank too?

Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Conceptz-X on November 16, 2009, 08:50:11 PM
Way to revive a thread
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: junkyard racer on November 16, 2009, 09:37:33 PM
my toilet in japan had a little arm that came up and sprayed your asshole. it had like 3 levels of blasting power. iit also had a heated seat.


(https://realhomemadeturbo.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sundrymourning.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F03%2Fjpn05_toiletbuttons.jpg&hash=c4e94e453ff945b5834f0e9d7a7ef62cb1656702)
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: snm95ls on November 16, 2009, 10:04:16 PM
my toilet in japan had a little arm that came up and sprayed your asshole. it had like 3 levels of blasting power. iit also had a heated seat.


(https://realhomemadeturbo.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sundrymourning.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F03%2Fjpn05_toiletbuttons.jpg&hash=c4e94e453ff945b5834f0e9d7a7ef62cb1656702)

LOL@the flushing sound button.

Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: nonvtec on November 16, 2009, 10:55:06 PM
Who the fuck stands up to wipe?

What man wipes his ass from front to back?  Do you fuckers sit facing the tank too?


Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Robb on November 16, 2009, 11:09:23 PM
my toilet in japan had a little arm that came up and sprayed your asshole. it had like 3 levels of blasting power. iit also had a heated seat.


(https://realhomemadeturbo.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sundrymourning.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F03%2Fjpn05_toiletbuttons.jpg&hash=c4e94e453ff945b5834f0e9d7a7ef62cb1656702)


Needs various blow-off valve sounds ftw.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Conceptz-X on November 16, 2009, 11:10:37 PM
my toilet in japan had a little arm that came up and sprayed your asshole. it had like 3 levels of blasting power. iit also had a heated seat.


(https://realhomemadeturbo.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sundrymourning.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F03%2Fjpn05_toiletbuttons.jpg&hash=c4e94e453ff945b5834f0e9d7a7ef62cb1656702)


Needs various blow-off valve sounds ftw.
+178656076544
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Ntrain2k on November 16, 2009, 11:20:17 PM
my toilet in japan had a little arm that came up and sprayed your asshole. it had like 3 levels of blasting power. iit also had a heated seat.


(https://realhomemadeturbo.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sundrymourning.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F03%2Fjpn05_toiletbuttons.jpg&hash=c4e94e453ff945b5834f0e9d7a7ef62cb1656702)


Needs various blow-off valve sounds ftw.

I suspect those come naturally.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Sinister on November 16, 2009, 11:29:54 PM
my toilet in japan had a little arm that came up and sprayed your asshole. it had like 3 levels of blasting power. iit also had a heated seat.


(https://realhomemadeturbo.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sundrymourning.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F03%2Fjpn05_toiletbuttons.jpg&hash=c4e94e453ff945b5834f0e9d7a7ef62cb1656702)


Needs various blow-off valve sounds ftw.

I suspect those come naturally.

lulz

heated seat would be nice. too many times i have stuck my buns on an ice cold seat  :?:
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: oinesra on November 16, 2009, 11:34:32 PM
i dont know about that. i prefer a cold seat. i hate going to pinch off a loaf and the seat is still warm from someone else ass.
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Foowee on November 17, 2009, 10:54:25 AM
A cold seat works for me too.  There's a local building that has hot water piped to all the toilets so it always feels like someone just warmed it up for ya...
Title: Re: Wiping Your Ass
Post by: Panis on November 17, 2009, 09:48:16 PM
My technique:

Intial wipe, your anus must be postioned directly above the toilet bowl.

All wipes thereafter may be performed after you spin 180*, face the toilet, continue to wipe.


This is done to ensure that poo doesn't fall into your underwear or the floor.