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Poll

Wadded toilet paper, folded, or a combo?

I grab a handful of TP and just swipe and wipe
I fold the TP so that shit don't rip and get poo on my hand
I don't wipe with TP, I just get in the shower immediately after a poop
HHH
CRX
Stand up to wipe
Sit down to wipe

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Author Topic: Wiping Your Ass  (Read 7829 times)

Hotrodlincoln

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #30 on: September 07, 2009, 08:56:53 PM »

Edit: I squirted on the waisband of my levis.
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Joseph Davis

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #31 on: September 07, 2009, 09:14:12 PM »

Where's Julio?  This thread needs him.

salesmonkey

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #32 on: September 07, 2009, 10:28:14 PM »

this is a delicate procedure. first you stand up. becuase well only ladys wipe while sitting on the toilet. if your a man you will stand up and take pride while you wipe your asshole. now if your having troubles reaching your asshole or afraid of getting it "on the cheeks" or just want the spread. lift your lef and place it on something close by like the trash can or what i like to use the edge of the bath tub. now you of course will want to at least double over the paper, and if you got the thin stuff you will want to double it a few times. now you wipe it clean with a couple different wipes. and if you had a messy one, take a extra sheet fold it a few times over and dampen it with some warm water. now the warm water helps loosen that shit that wont come off and just feels good. now depending on your toilet and how much paper you use, you might want to flush the toilet if your using to much paper and droped a major dookey so it doesnt clog. no one wants to plundge a toilet. and if this happens at work fuck it just walk away and blame someone else if anyone asks. make sure to shit if you need to before you going in the shower. no one likes to take a shower then need a shit and then have that tainted feeling on your ass when your done.
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7808

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #33 on: September 08, 2009, 01:11:37 AM »

if any one of you stand there with your foot up on somthing wiping your ass, then your parents failed you
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7808

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #34 on: September 08, 2009, 01:13:22 AM »

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Sinister

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #35 on: September 08, 2009, 01:15:58 AM »

Where's Julio?  This thread needs him.

Julio is the expert on shitting your pants, not wiping your ass. He never gets to the toilet in the first place  :?:
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nos10racer

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #36 on: September 08, 2009, 02:09:59 AM »

i to use baby wipes. stay sitting.. i wipe once then fold for a second wipe usually gets it all
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Perfek360

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #37 on: September 08, 2009, 04:14:48 AM »

you know what they say about double ply tp......if your finger breaks through, its because you wanted it to  :yes:
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nos10racer

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #38 on: September 08, 2009, 08:03:25 AM »

you know what they say about double ply tp......if your finger breaks through, its because you wanted it to  :yes:

i have also heard this
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turbob16hatch

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #39 on: September 08, 2009, 01:27:42 PM »

seriously how do you wipe sitting down? wtf.....

Just stand up and wipe, no need for fancy contortions or squatting all funny.

Oh and who buy cheap toilet paper, the last thing I'm doing is cheaping out on something i wipe my ass with.
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Jorsher

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #40 on: September 08, 2009, 02:03:47 PM »

seriously how do you wipe sitting down? wtf.....

Just stand up and wipe, no need for fancy contortions or squatting all funny.

Oh and who buy cheap toilet paper, the last thing I'm doing is cheaping out on something i wipe my ass with.

It's not that hard to wipe your ass without standing up.  Maybe I'm just skilled.

I lived with a friend that bought single-ply rough toilet paper.

I bought my own baller 2-ply soft stuff and enjoyed every sit.
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brine04

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #41 on: September 08, 2009, 03:17:04 PM »

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DRQPQUT

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #42 on: September 08, 2009, 03:23:51 PM »

Baby wipes, front to back.fresh and clean
+1 nigs
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Foowee

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #43 on: November 16, 2009, 03:36:53 PM »



Just gotta be careful not to burn yourself... 
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ochoa

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #44 on: November 16, 2009, 03:41:38 PM »

it dosn't matter what tp im using i make about 4 wraps around my hand b/c theres no way in hell im getting shit on my fingers
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Teg2boo

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #45 on: November 16, 2009, 04:37:40 PM »

Mans don't wipe.
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DRQPQUT

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #46 on: November 16, 2009, 05:28:22 PM »

Baby wipes, front to back.fresh and clean
+ 1 baby wipes are the shit they are about 4 bucks and 1 or 2 do the trick fuck toilet paper
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oinesra

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #47 on: November 16, 2009, 06:24:06 PM »

I wipe left to right, across both cheeks.
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random-strike

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #48 on: November 16, 2009, 06:56:43 PM »

if any one of you stand there with your foot up on somthing wiping your ass, then your parents failed you
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Robb

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #49 on: November 16, 2009, 07:51:38 PM »

I spend more on TP than I do on car parts.  Word.  :noel:
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snm95ls

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #50 on: November 16, 2009, 08:11:23 PM »

Who the fuck stands up to wipe?

What man wipes his ass from front to back?  Do you fuckers sit facing the tank too?

Conceptz-X

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #51 on: November 16, 2009, 08:50:11 PM »

Way to revive a thread
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junkyard racer

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #52 on: November 16, 2009, 09:37:33 PM »

my toilet in japan had a little arm that came up and sprayed your asshole. it had like 3 levels of blasting power. iit also had a heated seat.


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snm95ls

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #53 on: November 16, 2009, 10:04:16 PM »

my toilet in japan had a little arm that came up and sprayed your asshole. it had like 3 levels of blasting power. iit also had a heated seat.




LOL@the flushing sound button.

nonvtec

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #54 on: November 16, 2009, 10:55:06 PM »

Who the fuck stands up to wipe?

What man wipes his ass from front to back?  Do you fuckers sit facing the tank too?


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Robb

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #55 on: November 16, 2009, 11:09:23 PM »

my toilet in japan had a little arm that came up and sprayed your asshole. it had like 3 levels of blasting power. iit also had a heated seat.





Needs various blow-off valve sounds ftw.
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Conceptz-X

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #56 on: November 16, 2009, 11:10:37 PM »

my toilet in japan had a little arm that came up and sprayed your asshole. it had like 3 levels of blasting power. iit also had a heated seat.





Needs various blow-off valve sounds ftw.
+178656076544
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Ntrain2k

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #57 on: November 16, 2009, 11:20:17 PM »

my toilet in japan had a little arm that came up and sprayed your asshole. it had like 3 levels of blasting power. iit also had a heated seat.





Needs various blow-off valve sounds ftw.

I suspect those come naturally.
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Sinister

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #58 on: November 16, 2009, 11:29:54 PM »

my toilet in japan had a little arm that came up and sprayed your asshole. it had like 3 levels of blasting power. iit also had a heated seat.





Needs various blow-off valve sounds ftw.

I suspect those come naturally.

lulz

heated seat would be nice. too many times i have stuck my buns on an ice cold seat  :?:
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oinesra

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Re: Wiping Your Ass
« Reply #59 on: November 16, 2009, 11:34:32 PM »

i dont know about that. i prefer a cold seat. i hate going to pinch off a loaf and the seat is still warm from someone else ass.
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