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Author Topic: FUCK  (Read 2738 times)

Jorsher

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FUCK
« on: June 21, 2010, 01:47:51 AM »

Brief summary:

- Sleep 3-4 hours Friday
- Get up at 5AM and drive to NC
- Look at cool fucking projects and junk
- Have car tuned
- Emit noise from every possible source of squeaks/groans/knocks climbing Trailer Mountain
- Drink Vodka and Capri Sun
- lulz
- Travel to grocery store that appears to be a Messican establishment, but don't see any
- Go to friend's house in a very "dark" neighborhood
- Smoke
- Leave to go to party "in the forest somewhere"
- Hit surprise pothole
- Get stopped at checkpoint, evacuate smoke quickly
- Hear 4 times from the same person "yeah, I think I made a wrong turn"
- Traverse what seems like 2-3 miles of gravel 1-lane road in the woods
- Reach a shallow creek and frown realizing you must take your vehicle through it since you can't turn around
- Make it across and breathe a sigh of relief that your engine did not consume water and car didn't get stuck
- Reach a field full of high/drunk/tripping people, tents, campers, electronic music, and a couple fags "dancing" to it
- Get hassled for money to donate for the cost of the field, explain you will not be staying
- Leave, and have to cross the dangerous creek again
- Reach civilization, pull up directions to the next destination on the wonderful Android phone with Google Nav
- Miss turn and not be able to re-route due to being in the middle of nowhere without a signal
- Decide to stick with the current road (hwy 221) until it crosses a major interstate which will surely happen
- Realize after 45 minutes of driving 20-40mph through turn after turn in pitch black with no sign of life that there is no fucking major road intersecting
- Shit cinder blocks when commercial establishments are found and get the fuck off the highway
- Realize you are still lost at 3:30AM and take another highway (hwy 226) the opposite direction
- Realize it's 4:30AM, you still have no signal, and gas is running out with no gas station at night
- Find the Mountain Dew bottle to fill with anti-freeze in the event someone comes after you with a chainsaw
- Stop to piss multiple beers down a steep road and stand amazed at the river you created, trying to think of what to name it
- Eventually stumble upon another street, a large church parking lot, and a cellphone signal
- Tell yourself it's a sign you need Jesus
- Piss multiple beers on the church steps to display your disgust in god fucking with you all night while admiring the sunrise
- Leave towards your destination
- Lose signal and take a wrong turn, cannot divide by 0
- Wonder how the fuck you got to South Carolina
- Decide to visit your father for the holiday, and change destination to Georgia
- Test the efficacy of the noise-making strips on the side of the highway at 80mph as the lack of sleep begins to take a toll
- Shit pants when you repeatedly wake up in another lane, or on the shoulder, or quickly approaching another vehicle full of people with shit-filled pants
- Slam on the brakes when you wake up and realize you're about to drive into a tractor, bicyclist, wall, boulder, etc
- Realize they were really just inanimate objects on the side of the road that for some reason appeared as something else
- Finally make it to Columbus, GA at 10am and send texts to father and all friends in the area
- Stop at Auto Zone to top up the oil while you wait for replies and argue with teenage ricer that LS-VTECs are not unreliable and that a t3/t04e .60 can actually spool before 6000rpm
- Perform burnout in said parking lot to show superiority over their pieces of stock rice shit
- Visit the one friend that responds while waiting for father respond to his son that could have died in the mountains from anti-freeze consumption
- Hear back from father hours later that he's 1.5 hours away with a slut
- Realize the tank of gas and hours of driving to GA was a waste of time and head home
- Fall asleep at 80mph, wake up, shit bricks, get back into lane, repeat
- Wake up heading straight for the rear of a cop car parked on the side of the road, hit the brakes, maneuver around it, and decide to solve the nodding problem
- Amass a variety of energy drinks and pills
- Finally get home at 6pm and notice the curbed rim and missing chunk of sidewall due to pothole
- Get messages from everyone in Georgia with invitations to hang out
- Post on RHMT

12:48AM Monday and no sleep since 5AM Saturday.

How was your weekend?
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jagojon3

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2010, 01:52:36 AM »

Whoah, yours was way more eventful than mine.
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Turkey soup pancakes sir

j.h.christ

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2010, 01:52:59 AM »

FUCKING AWESOME.
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Jorsher

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2010, 01:58:33 AM »

A majority of this trip sucked but for some reason I still enjoyed it.

BTW, first tank after tune:
Drove 297 miles of obviously mixed driving and took 8.126 gallons to top it off.

36.55MPG

Best before tune was ~32MPG.
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fysh

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2010, 02:00:42 AM »

I jacked off... twice.

LS1pwNzJ00

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2010, 02:08:30 AM »

need cliffs.
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colt45

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2010, 04:15:34 AM »

make better choices... you coulld have killed someone.  seriously, asshat, it's fine if you want to drink or smoke yourself to death.  hell, it's how i plan on going.  but dont do that shit behind the wheel where you can fuck up the lives of others.

chris

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #7 on: June 21, 2010, 04:27:10 AM »

Went out to the country
Pitbull chases skunk
gets sprayed by skunk
goes back to kill skunk
gets sprayed again
dog looks like he knew he just fucked up
spend hours cleaning dog
drink large amounts of black velvet/coke zero
smoke
mash around in crx
clean dog again
Change oil in truck
Dog finally doesnt smell to bad
Take dog for drive in crx
Dog still smells in crx
Buy fruit on the side of road
Get 3 carna tacos from taco truck
make fedex labels
go grocery shopping


My weekend

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chris

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #8 on: June 21, 2010, 04:47:58 AM »

Did you dyno or only street tune?
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Teg2boo

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #9 on: June 21, 2010, 07:40:55 AM »

Exhaust pipe fall on the highway at 120km/h
Repaired the said exhaust while working
Went to camping site
Drink
Drink
Sleep
Eat
Eat
Sleep
Drink
Drink
Came back yesterday
Drink
Check out for boost leak
Found a lot of leaks
Repaired the leaks
Still have a leak

I need to take pics of the leak test setup, it's fucking sweet ;D

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damn you guys too? its a fucking forum not a court room!
 Its not a forum its a gang.  

Jorsher

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #10 on: June 21, 2010, 09:46:22 AM »

make better choices... you coulld have killed someone.  seriously, asshat, it's fine if you want to drink or smoke yourself to death.  hell, it's how i plan on going.  but dont do that shit behind the wheel where you can fuck up the lives of others.

I don't drive under the influence, asshat.

Did you dyno or only street tune?

Street, it's my slow NA CRX.
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Robb

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #11 on: June 21, 2010, 10:22:02 AM »

Colt he had one drink 2 hours before he left the trailerpark. I on the otherhand was trahed most of the night. :noel:
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blowoff valves are for pussies.

Jorsher

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #12 on: June 21, 2010, 10:28:43 AM »

Colt he had one drink 2 hours before he left the trailerpark. I on the otherhand was trahed most of the night. :noel:

Yes, and I even turned down more beverages before I left.

The horrible driving experience was due to lack of sleep, which is also preventable, but when it's 100+ fucking degree heat index in a car with no AC, I can't exactly pull of the road and take a nap.  Whenever there was a close call I would pull off the road (when possible) to stretch and wake up a little.  I wasn't purposely going to sleep, and believe it or not was trying to avoid it.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2010, 10:34:24 AM by Jorsher »
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jagojon3

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #13 on: June 21, 2010, 10:30:10 AM »

Lies, you were purposely trying to kill someone
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Turkey soup pancakes sir

Jorsher

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #14 on: June 21, 2010, 10:50:59 AM »

Lies, you were purposely trying to kill someone

True.  I wanted to end myself, hate CRXes (especially mine), and want to see a van loaded with young children up in flames.

A vast majority of my dozing happened when other traffic wasn't around.  Each time would release a nice boost of adrenaline which would wake me up and make me feel confident it wouldn't happen again, until it happened again.

Don't parent me Colt sir, I'm an adult and do what I want!  FUCK YOU!
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rawr2d2

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #15 on: June 21, 2010, 11:30:57 AM »

You need to not do the tired driving shit.  I have the same problem when I drive even in the daytime and I've gotten in a few accidents from it  :-\  I think i'm borderline narcoleptic though.
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Jorsher

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #16 on: June 21, 2010, 11:46:12 AM »

You need to not do the tired driving shit.  I have the same problem when I drive even in the daytime and I've gotten in a few accidents from it  :-\  I think i'm borderline narcoleptic though.

It's an issue I've only had a couple times.  Pulling over and taking a nap was considered, but again it's hot as fuck and I surely would have fell asleep and woke up dead.  Police would have found my sun-burned remains the next day, and vultures would have been pissed at my skinny-ass's inability to provide them with a sufficient meal.
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HiProfile

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Re: FUCK
« Reply #17 on: June 21, 2010, 12:29:01 PM »

When will they make smart phones smart enough to find a signal?
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dem gurls need some boobz! -Engloid
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