Topic: Girls dont fart (Read 5091 times)

RotaryGeek · « **on:** June 09, 2009, 10:04:15 AM »

I have always told me girlfriend that girls dont fart/shit, and that the only reason girls have an ass if for our enjoyment. They only fart aftr you turn 45 and then your an old lady and it doesnt matter. Turns out that even though im joking (hopefully she realizes this), she is super self concious about using the bathroom around me. She will do everything she can to wait till i go to work before she goes. Turn out her mom did the same thing. Apparently they think im dead serious and wont use the bathroom around me. And its not like she is still shy around me, We hve lived together/dated for 2 years now. I guess i just find it funny, And im not bitching cuz i would rather her not shit around me. She was even worried about me being in the room when she was in labor with my kid becuase she was worried she would take a shit on accident. pretty wierd.

j.h.christ · « **Reply #1 on:** June 09, 2009, 10:06:13 AM »

call in sick for a couple days and let the games begin

RotaryGeek · « **Reply #2 on:** June 09, 2009, 10:09:55 AM »

I have actually, and on my weekends im home 3 days straight. There is a lady i work with all the time at work that my girlfriend hates cuz i work with her alot, and the other day she farted. So i came home and told her Ms. Buth is really Mr. Buth and that she almost shit herself in front of me and she laughed her ass off and now she doesnt care if i work with her everyday.

Tim · « **Reply #3 on:** June 09, 2009, 10:54:25 AM »

I always told women I'd cork that shit when I heard them fart. They didn't believe my i'd whip my cock out and start trying to shove it in their ass. Do that once and they usually don't bust ass in front of you much more, or you get to ram it in her ass without much effort win-win.

Kenny Rogers · « **Reply #4 on:** June 09, 2009, 11:05:08 AM »

It took a good year or so before my gf (wife now) would fart in front of me... but that was 7 years ago. She takes dumps on my chest on a regular basis

Everyone farts and it's funny. Tell her to take a shit if she needs to shit. Fan + spray stuff = all good. That's unhealthy for both of you.

Foowee · « **Reply #5 on:** June 09, 2009, 12:56:17 PM »

Notice how "irritable bowel syndrome" is only a problem among females. Image obsessed whores.

Jorsher · « **Reply #6 on:** June 09, 2009, 02:41:00 PM »

Dated a girl for a while that didn't like people hearing her use the bathroom

She'd turn the tub or sink on. Not even just for shits, for quick pisses too.

Joseph Davis · « **Reply #7 on:** June 09, 2009, 03:01:06 PM »

Quote from: Foowee on June 09, 2009, 12:56:17 PM

Notice how "irritable bowel syndrome" is only a problem among females. Image obsessed whores.

Danno has IBS. The little fucking whore.

This thread needs Donald125

marcj · « **Reply #8 on:** June 09, 2009, 03:44:25 PM »

mine is the same way.. one time i walked in our room from the office.. she wasn't anywhere.. so i hear this massive fart.. she opens the bathroom door and i'm all

and she lol'd. first and only time i've heard her rip one..

Sinister · « **Reply #9 on:** June 09, 2009, 04:03:50 PM »

Quote from: Joseph Davis on June 09, 2009, 03:01:06 PM

Quote from: Foowee on June 09, 2009, 12:56:17 PM
Notice how "irritable bowel syndrome" is only a problem among females. Image obsessed whores.

Danno has IBS. The little fucking whore.

Ergh. IBS is real deal, foowee. Imagine almost everything you eat upsetting your stomach, its not a good time. On top of it I'm lactose intolerant too.

Joseph Davis · « **Reply #10 on:** June 09, 2009, 04:15:54 PM »

Image obsessed whore.

Sinister · « **Reply #11 on:** June 09, 2009, 04:17:10 PM »

Quote from: Joseph Davis on June 09, 2009, 04:15:54 PM

Image obsessed whore.

I know, I just don't want to have anyone know I take poo's

Ntrain2k · « **Reply #12 on:** June 09, 2009, 06:18:09 PM »

Only heard the wife fart one time. She was asleep.

buk9tp · « **Reply #13 on:** June 09, 2009, 06:26:14 PM »

i wouldn't know. I'm a virgin. and Ive never had a GF in my entire life.

biscuit · « **Reply #14 on:** June 09, 2009, 08:04:22 PM »

Girls don't fart because their mouths aren't shut long enough to build up any pressure.

It's natural. They need to learn to deal with it...

Foowee · « **Reply #15 on:** June 09, 2009, 08:22:15 PM »

Quote from: Sinister on June 09, 2009, 04:03:50 PM

Ergh. IBS is real deal, foowee. Imagine almost everything you eat upsetting your stomach, its not a good time. On top of it I'm lactose intolerant too.

I never said it was not real. I was implying that holding your methane and feces leads to ibs. If you're too good to use public restrooms or are above farting, god will show you otherwise...

I'm pretty sure doing pnf with your spincthers for years will change the way they function. As for your in ability to tolerate lactose... stop sucking on the udderly delicious teets of barnyard animals and you'll probably be alright...

Now go brush your hair.

Passenger · « **Reply #16 on:** June 09, 2009, 08:49:26 PM »

Quote from: Jorsher on June 09, 2009, 02:41:00 PM

Dated a girl for a while that didn't like people hearing her use the bathroom She'd turn the tub or sink on. Not even just for shits, for quick pisses too.

I've had three girlfriends that did the same. I could really care less.

jagojon3 · « **Reply #17 on:** June 09, 2009, 08:57:30 PM »

Quote from: Jorsher on June 09, 2009, 02:41:00 PM

Dated a girl for a while that didn't like people hearing her use the bathroom She'd turn the tub or sink on. Not even just for shits, for quick pisses too.

That's pretty weird. I've been with my girl for about 4-5 years and we don't care. Just go whenever wherever sometimes she even shits on my chest. Great times.

Sinister · « **Reply #18 on:** June 09, 2009, 09:22:24 PM »

Quote from: Foowee on June 09, 2009, 08:22:15 PM

I never said it was not real. I was implying that holding your methane and feces leads to ibs. If you're too good to use public restrooms or are above farting, god will show you otherwise...

Ah, thats what you meant. Well, a good diet of lots of fruits and veggies, lactose free milk and eating dairy products sparingly works wonders

nig nog · « **Reply #19 on:** June 09, 2009, 09:28:09 PM »

I shit on SInister's chest.

Budget_SI · « **Reply #20 on:** June 09, 2009, 10:27:13 PM »

My girlfriend shits loudly, but I listen carefully...Is that wrong?

Ravage70 · « **Reply #21 on:** June 10, 2009, 01:30:50 AM »

Quote from: Budget_SI on June 09, 2009, 10:27:13 PM

My girlfriend shits loudly, but I listen carefully...Is that wrong?

Only because you pretend your neighbors 14 year old daughter is your girlfriend and you listen in from the outside of the bathroom window.

crttaz · « **Reply #22 on:** June 10, 2009, 03:27:22 AM »

my ex-wife never had issues pooping or tooting around me.

RotaryGeek · « **Reply #23 on:** June 10, 2009, 05:24:30 PM »

Quote from: crttaz on June 10, 2009, 03:27:22 AM

my ex-wife never had issues pooping or tooting around me.

Thats probobly why she is your ex wife and not current.

crttaz · « **Reply #24 on:** June 11, 2009, 01:36:34 AM »

www.cakefarts.com

drivin96 · « **Reply #25 on:** June 11, 2009, 01:43:31 AM »

my girl dont car any more ... she shits and farts around me all the time its discustin
tonight was the worst she was layin down on the couch with her back to my side and her ass on my leg ...next thing i kn the skin on my leg ripples and and the hair moves ... she farted on me ...

i got pissed and ripped one right back on her

Sinister · « **Reply #26 on:** June 11, 2009, 01:54:36 AM »

Quote from: crttaz on June 11, 2009, 01:36:34 AM

www,cakefarts.com

you're an nasty old man lol

Joseph Davis · « **Reply #27 on:** June 11, 2009, 07:45:21 AM »

But you LOVED it.

imburne · « **Reply #28 on:** June 11, 2009, 08:52:45 AM »

only on chocolate cake

SDRAWKCAB · « **Reply #29 on:** June 11, 2009, 05:25:25 PM »

Quote from: crttaz on June 11, 2009, 01:36:34 AM

www,cakefarts.com

Is it weird that im aroused now?

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Author Topic: Girls dont fart (Read 5091 times)

buk9tp