Topic: Jehovah's Witnesses (Read 6547 times)

rawr · « **on:** August 01, 2009, 10:39:16 AM »

They just got destroyed this morning.

highroller54 · « **Reply #1 on:** August 01, 2009, 11:04:55 AM »

on your porch?

BoostedSchemes · « **Reply #2 on:** August 01, 2009, 12:59:30 PM »

were there any witnesses?

colt45 · « **Reply #3 on:** August 01, 2009, 01:19:46 PM »

mormons will knock on your door with two young men dressed up, and they rode bikes.

jehobo witnesses will knock on your door with one dude and one hot-ass girl. also, they have a 2nd dude in the get away car in the parking lot

true story

ryan89crx · « **Reply #4 on:** August 01, 2009, 01:49:54 PM »

you sure they were Jehovas?

hang a US flag out front, they will stop coming over. my parents used to get Jehovas alll the time. as soon as they hung their flag, they would just walk by the house and go to the next one. weird fuckers

ratcityrex · « **Reply #5 on:** August 01, 2009, 01:54:02 PM »

bitch across the street is a Jehova witless. I fucking cant stand her. She bitches about everything I do. Dont light off fireworks because they land on my roof, and cars. Bitch the people that live behind you were the ones lighting them off and landing on your roof. Mine were pointed the other way. Your porch light is bright and shines in my bedroom window and I cant sleep, could you turn it off at night? So I went from a 60watt bulb to a 100watt bulb. I repect other peoples living/homes, but when you bitch about little shit like firworks landing on your roof, and you think im gona stop because its against your religion and what I do with my religion and belifes offend you? So now because of it I do burnouts in my driveway and in front of her house. Fucking whore.

RANT!

E-b0la · « **Reply #6 on:** August 01, 2009, 02:08:08 PM »

jehovah's bother me.

I went to elementary school with one, and that little prick always sat down during the pledge of allegiance.

What an Anti-American twat.

Joseph Davis · « **Reply #7 on:** August 01, 2009, 02:55:15 PM »

Quote from: BoostedSchemes on August 01, 2009, 12:59:30 PM

were there any witnesses?

Jehovah.

Hotrodlincoln · « **Reply #8 on:** August 01, 2009, 02:55:54 PM »

Last weekend I answered the door in my birthday suit and invited them in for scrambled eggs and coffe, they politley declined. Haven't seen them drive down my road since.

DmC · « **Reply #9 on:** August 01, 2009, 03:05:23 PM »

I was raised as one. I tell you guys nothing fucks someone up more then a bunch of wierdo's telling you your going to live forever and everyone thats not a jehovahs witness is going to die. At about 8yo I figured out it was all bullshit and then had tp deal with a bunch of pushy morons for the next ten years.
I finanlly told them off really good and they leave me alone now. I basically said to one of their elders that I live my life in reality and they can go ahead and live in fantasy land stuck up each others asses.

Joseph Davis · « **Reply #10 on:** August 01, 2009, 03:34:35 PM »

I thought you looked like a Jehovah's Witless.

rawr · « **Reply #11 on:** August 01, 2009, 04:33:34 PM »

Quote from: DmC on August 01, 2009, 03:05:23 PM

I was raised as one. I tell you guys nothing fucks someone up more then a bunch of wierdo's telling you your going to live forever and everyone thats not a jehovahs witness is going to die. At about 8yo I figured out it was all bullshit and then had tp deal with a bunch of pushy morons for the next ten years.
I finanlly told them off really good and they leave me alone now. I basically said to one of their elders that I live my life in reality and they can go ahead and live in fantasy land stuck up each others asses.

My grandpa is Jehovah's Witness and my dad used ot as an excuse to not buy me Christmas or birthday presents. Thankfully my mom peaced out on his ass.

SgtB · « **Reply #12 on:** August 01, 2009, 04:42:08 PM »

Quote from: Hotrodlincoln on August 01, 2009, 02:55:54 PM

Last weekend I answered the door in my birthday suit and invited them in for scrambled eggs and coffe, they politley declined. Haven't seen them drive down my road since.

I accidentally did the same thing. They know I just moved in so I've had my doorbell rung twice in a month. My wife runs in the morning while I sleep the beer off, and every now and then she locks herself out. I wake up half asleep to the doorbell ringing, and hurry to the door to let her in wearing nothing but a hand over my junk. I happen to be fucking blind without my glasses, that I wasn't wearing. Two big tall windows with white shear sheets over them on either side of the door. I peer close through the glass and see a women with a startled look on her face. I just walked back to my room. I don't think she'll be back.

DmC · « **Reply #13 on:** August 01, 2009, 04:55:39 PM »

Quote from: Joseph Davis on August 01, 2009, 03:34:35 PM

I thought you looked like a Jehovah's Witless.

Quote from: rawr on August 01, 2009, 04:33:34 PM

Quote from: DmC on August 01, 2009, 03:05:23 PM
I was raised as one. I tell you guys nothing fucks someone up more then a bunch of wierdo's telling you your going to live forever and everyone thats not a jehovahs witness is going to die. At about 8yo I figured out it was all bullshit and then had tp deal with a bunch of pushy morons for the next ten years.
I finanlly told them off really good and they leave me alone now. I basically said to one of their elders that I live my life in reality and they can go ahead and live in fantasy land stuck up each others asses.

My grandpa is Jehovah's Witness and my dad used ot as an excuse to not buy me Christmas or birthday presents. Thankfully my mom peaced out on his ass.

Yeah Joseph I know theirs that wierdness that gets ground into your soul being raised like that. Ive got a really powerful magnet on me called hmt trying to pull all that crap out but until then I'll still have some of that creepy JW personality.
Rawr your dad was probably one of those people that guilt from his dad never let him get all the way away from that. He's probably one of those guys that thinks someday he'll be one of them again.
I'm tell you all theirs something strange about a group of people who only assosiate with each other and reenforce each others beliefs. they can twist anything to meen whatever they want. I had to explain to my mom that I believed the bible was no more real then if a hebrew had writen lord or the rings 2000 years ago.

rawr · « **Reply #14 on:** August 01, 2009, 07:21:20 PM »

He may or may not be but he buys his new wifes kid shit.

Do you remember them giving you pictures as a kid with a bunch of honkey ass cracker kids playing with tigers and other predators? That shit was priceless.

BoostedSchemes · « **Reply #15 on:** August 01, 2009, 08:13:48 PM »

IGNORE ALL PREVIOUS FAILURE.

This is what you do.

1) Understand that she cheated on you because she doesn't respect you. She thinks you're unworthy.
2) Begin treating her coldly, but not inhumanely. Don't be eager to please. Don't remember stupid anniversaries. Don't act cutesy and lovey with her. Don't call her so frequently. Flirt (a little) with her friends. Fuck her; DO NOT make love (try to get her to go home soon afterwards).

***BE CAREFUL THIS IS A THIN LINE AND MUST BE TRODDEN CAREFULLY. NOT TOO HARSH- NOT TOO NICE. ERR ON THE SIDE OF HARSHNESS.

3) The undoubtable outcome of this, done correctly, is that in 2-3 weeks she will be batshit insane in love with you. Head over heels, besotted.

4) Now you strike. No fancy fuckaroos like the above. Just invite her round one day (act nice and sweet on the phone). When there, after a little while, do this:
-Grab her by the hair
-Calmly and quietly explain to her that you know she fucked Mr X. That she's a worthless, cheap slut. That these will be the final words she ever hears you speak.
-Give her the bum's rush to the door
-Throw her out without another word
-Throw all her shit out with her
-Close door.

Epic revenge. Not only will she be hung up on you for the rest of her life (open to fucking whenever you like) but she'll also go through life burdened by the certain knowledge of her sluttery.

Here endeth the lesson.

Joseph Davis · « **Reply #16 on:** August 01, 2009, 09:21:51 PM »

Is that what your girlfriends do to you, Yuriy?

BoostedSchemes · « **Reply #17 on:** August 01, 2009, 09:47:49 PM »

well i havent actually talked to a girl in real life, but imagine that once i have sex (i look at porn i know how to do it good to make them cry) they will all want to be my girlfriend thaen. i will also do the hand thing with their vagaina and eat their butt holes. i am ready for when.

Robb · « **Reply #18 on:** August 02, 2009, 12:17:58 AM »

I can see their church from my front porch. I was moved into my house 2 days before they showed up.

You answer the door with a mossburg 12gauge and they don't come back.

Also, I don't normally hate people for their beliefs, but I can't stand mormons. If you are one, then fuck you and your church.
/hate.

DmC · « **Reply #19 on:** August 02, 2009, 01:25:54 AM »

ONLY LIVING WITNESS - Slug (OFFICIAL VIDEO)

Corey · « **Reply #20 on:** August 02, 2009, 01:27:28 AM »

they tried to open a JW church thing in my neighborhood at an old pool/raquet club that closed up. it was like 10 years ago. they came around the neighboorhood for weeks trying to get people to sign a petition to allow it. needless to say theres nothing but an empty lot still to this day.

drivin96 · « **Reply #21 on:** August 02, 2009, 01:35:35 AM »

i got one of those fuckin churches at the bottem of my street and those fuckers are always on the corner of my street askin for money ...kinda wanna roll a watermellon into traffic and see what happens

HiProfile · « **Reply #22 on:** August 02, 2009, 11:50:47 AM »

Quote from: colt45 on August 01, 2009, 01:19:46 PM

witnesses will knock on your door with one dude and one hot-ass girl. also, they have a 2nd dude in the get away car in the parking lot

true story

QFT. I was hungover like hell one morning (smelled like beer still), looking at porn, and hear a knock at the door. Some fine-ass blond chick and some guy start chattering about religion, I just eyed the girl up and down. Didn't reply to any questions, and they probably though I was some serial killer/rapist. Left in a hurry. I'll admit, I've never forgot her face - too bad it's associated with such shit.

True story.

BTW kid at my elementry school who was a jeho HATED being one. His parents banned him from any celebrating at school. All the others I've met have converted. Only the weak of mind tend to stay.

malichite · « **Reply #23 on:** August 02, 2009, 01:03:30 PM »

Quote from: ratcityrex on August 01, 2009, 01:54:02 PM

bitch across the street is a Jehova witless. I fucking cant stand her. She bitches about everything I do. Dont light off fireworks because they land on my roof, and cars. Bitch the people that live behind you were the ones lighting them off and landing on your roof. Mine were pointed the other way. Your porch light is bright and shines in my bedroom window and I cant sleep, could you turn it off at night? So I went from a 60watt bulb to a 100watt bulb. I repect other peoples living/homes, but when you bitch about little shit like firworks landing on your roof, and you think im gona stop because its against your religion and what I do with my religion and belifes offend you? So now because of it I do burnouts in my driveway and in front of her house. Fucking whore.

RANT!

I'm coming over. I'll lay down some tracks for yah!

ratcityrex · « **Reply #24 on:** August 02, 2009, 03:40:24 PM »

Quote from: malichite on August 02, 2009, 01:03:30 PM

Quote from: ratcityrex on August 01, 2009, 01:54:02 PM
bitch across the street is a Jehova witless. I fucking cant stand her. She bitches about everything I do. Dont light off fireworks because they land on my roof, and cars. Bitch the people that live behind you were the ones lighting them off and landing on your roof. Mine were pointed the other way. Your porch light is bright and shines in my bedroom window and I cant sleep, could you turn it off at night? So I went from a 60watt bulb to a 100watt bulb. I repect other peoples living/homes, but when you bitch about little shit like firworks landing on your roof, and you think im gona stop because its against your religion and what I do with my religion and belifes offend you? So now because of it I do burnouts in my driveway and in front of her house. Fucking whore.

RANT!

Do it!!
I'm coming over. I'll lay down some tracks for yah!

Sinister · « **Reply #25 on:** August 02, 2009, 03:52:03 PM »

Weren't there a few JW's on ohmt? I've never personally ran into one but I did know a kid that was mormon that was pretty chill. They wouldn't stop calling me on the daily and he overheard me talking about it, and after that I never got one phone call from them

Only thing I ever thought was odd is their church's have no windows

Zarcorp · « **Reply #26 on:** August 02, 2009, 07:24:42 PM »

I had two catholic hispanic ladies come to my door before, trying to get me to join their church.

They weren't pleased when I told them I worshiped Satan and their pussy God couldn't save anyone because he's too busy cornholing Jesus, just like their priest.

Modeled after God right.

Zarcorp · « **Reply #27 on:** August 02, 2009, 07:25:50 PM »

rawr · « **Reply #28 on:** August 02, 2009, 08:43:29 PM »

im pooping in my new apartment that doent have the internet until september fouth... i guess im going to have to acu
tually do homework.

Zarcorp · « **Reply #29 on:** August 02, 2009, 09:07:31 PM »

Go in chat to poop.

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Author Topic: Jehovah's Witnesses (Read 6547 times)

rawr

rawr

rawr

rawr