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[bigdaddyvtec]

MY NAME IS MARC AND IM A FUCK UP....



hi Mark,


Hi, its been 30 seconds since my last fuck up, and Im here to try and not fuck up anymore... If someone would come and talk to me after the meeting id be mostr greatful....


Im powerless over fucking up and dont want to fuck up again, but I know I cant do it by myself.

[keelay]

I just hit this for you, Marc



You can bet that anyone with a glass table, likes things up their nose.

[BoostedSchemes]

marc you are a piece of shit and the only advice we can give you is get off the junk - after that, you can have other advice

i just watched a dude snort molly, addy, and benzo in one go, rest assured just watching people do it makes it more obvious that you are a junky whore if you are snorting

[chris]

Im addicted to in and out burgers

[92CXyD]

Im addicted to in and out burgers

I'm addicted to beautiful redheaded women. :yes:

[marcj]

I appreciate the advice guys... unfortunately I've already self-detox'd, at least the obvious physical dependence symptoms are gone after 3 or 4 days, sometimes more depending on the abuse.

Monday I'm going back to the recruiters to join the Army (hopefully as a warrant officer of some type). I've wanted to join, but didn't want to leave my family. I guess this is my que? i'll let you guys know when I leave for booty camp.

Oh, and sorry to those affected by my fucking bullshit lately with the Forsale section. This was one of the aspects of my life I let go to shit with this addiction, along with my last semester of college, and some other plans. I really feel like a giant piece of shit now that i'm sober and looking at this mess. None of it seemed so bad when we were doing all this bullshit.

BTW, JD, we have been using these pills for 2 months heavily is what I meant.. before that it wasn't a daily thing for us.

[marcj]

also, sorry I didn't respond until now, I've been staying with family to detox. figured it's best to be a few cities away at this point.

[keelay]

Eh, 2nd day is ALWAYS the worst. No matter the dependency. I was up to 150mg a day for about a month straight, and before that about 60mg a day for the previous 2-3 months. The shit will suck you in before you know what hit you. I was on it legitamately to start with for my back and knees. Then got off of them, and needed to to work to 100 hour weeks we were doing on contract work. I came home, and realized how fucked up it had gotten me. Now I just do some every now and then when my back or knees flare up with pain. Just be careful man

[jay]

army = pussy way out

pussy faggot jew nigger

[Hotrodlincoln]

SO youre gonna run away from your problems by joining the army. Be a man and harden the fuck up. Handle your shit!!

[Urban Indian]

army = pussy way out

pussy faggot jew nigger

SO youre gonna run away from your problems by joining the army. Be a man and harden the fuck up. Handle your shit!!

Handle your own shit, Don't be a running faggot and use the army to cover it up. You can do it, take a page out of spikers book you fucking vaginal blood fart

[TheMadScientist]

Seeing the recruiter is probably a good idea actually because joining the military will cet your kid covered by insurance. Also getting out of shitty situation is probably a good idea. However if you love this girl and I mean truly really love her then find out if she feel the same before you up  and leave.
Getting addicted sucks to say the least. Glad to hear your detoxed now stay that way and everytime you think about having just one to relieve the pain of everything, think about your kid and the position you where in a few days ago because of this shit!
I'm prescrided some pretty addicting shit and have to really watch it because it will suck me in and I know it. So learn to control yourself it is possible and I know it. I'm in Panama city so I know what you mean about the availability of these drugs.

Make a decision about your life make a general time line for the next couple years and develop a basic plan of attack for how to make it happen. Then take this plan to her if you want her back and show her what you're gonna do to make it better.

Just my .02

[Doug]

You should just forget about here and move on. She will just end up bringing you down into a relapse or rat you out to benefit her (I.E. get custody of kid) the first chance she gets. This is why I always hold back on doing drugs more than a day in a row. Keep that shit to one weekend night use to keep the demons away.

If you really want to quit and be done for good I say get yourself into some meetings. If you are addicted you will end up caving in saying "just one more time" and be hooked until something else happens. Try switching to something non addicting like weed or psychedelics.

[marcj]

You should just forget about here and move on. She will just end up bringing you down into a relapse or rat you out to benefit her (I.E. get custody of kid) the first chance she gets. This is why I always hold back on doing drugs more than a day in a row. Keep that shit to one weekend night use to keep the demons away.

If you really want to quit and be done for good I say get yourself into some meetings. If you are addicted you will end up caving in saying "just one more time" and be hooked until something else happens. Try switching to something non addicting like weed or psychedelics.

that's just it.. we didn't do this stuff long enough to build an uncontrollable addiction. I know women and men are different psychologically, but I haven't thought about it more than once. I have strong willpower; I'm afraid she does not, hence all this bullshit she flipped in my face from this... most intelligent people would have asked family for some family support WITHOUT SPILLING THEIR GUTS ABOUT SERIOUS PERSONAL SHIT which leads to dire consequences. I think she may have been done with me prior to this, she was ready to leave, then saw the opportunity to and went with it full force.

[90boostdaccord]

your strong willpower turned you into an IV drug user.  cmon bro.  you're not fooling anyone here.  get your shit together.  you made a life long decision to have a child, and that child deserves more than some shitbag drug addict parents.  grow the fuck up.

[weirtech]

^^^ x1000.

you don't deserve to be a parent.  i hate people like you.  the big problem here isn't you fucking up your own life, the big problem here is you fucking up an innocent child's life.  why does he have to grow up in a fucked environment just because his parents are mindless losers?  put your kid up for adoption so he can have parents that want him in their lives.

[DmC]

One pistol round to your head should fix the whole situation. Better yet set yourself on fire so your family doesn't have the burden of burying you.

[marcj]

^^^ x1000.

you don't deserve to be a parent.  i hate people like you.  the big problem here isn't you fucking up your own life, the big problem here is you fucking up an innocent child's life.  why does he have to grow up in a fucked environment just because his parents are mindless losers?  put your kid up for adoption so he can have parents that want him in their lives.

You guys are making it seem like this is all her and I did, and neglected our child.. it's not like that at all. You're thinking crack heads, we were managing a normal life during the day and night, with a 40mg-80mg.. that's a regular prescribed amount and is just enough to give you a little buzz for the day..

i'm not going to sugar coat, or at least try not to.. yes, doing 80mg up the nose or iv is more intense than taking it orally, but it's still not going to leave you in a coma.

[N1 Andy]

zing!!! all bullshit aside one addict to another nothing else matters at this point,not your kid not your apt.,not your girlfriend....your kid sounds like he is safe and in a good place focus on yourself and your DIS-EASE....if you get right with yourself everything else will fall into place nobody can do this for you...its gonna be a long journey but if you do the right thing you will be suprised by the outcome i guarntee that

That sounds like the biggest load of NA bullshit I have ever heard. If he WANTS to stop, or get control of a situation he will. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. It just takes a little bit of will power. Stop being a faggot

Somehow I don't believe you've ever "Been there before" Keelay, if you are using words like "will power"

Get off the fucking beans, if you can't I agree with DMC, put a bullet in your head.  Your child doesn't need a beanhead for a Dad, and the world doesn't need another one walking the streets.

[DmC]

^^^ x1000.

you don't deserve to be a parent.  i hate people like you.  the big problem here isn't you fucking up your own life, the big problem here is you fucking up an innocent child's life.  why does he have to grow up in a fucked environment just because his parents are mindless losers?  put your kid up for adoption so he can have parents that want him in their lives.

You guys are making it seem like this is all her and I did, and neglected our child.. it's not like that at all. You're thinking crack heads, we were managing a normal life during the day and night, with a 40mg-80mg.. that's a regular prescribed amount and is just enough to give you a little buzz for the day..

i'm not going to sugar coat, or at least try not to.. yes, doing 80mg up the nose or iv is more intense than taking it orally, but it's still not going to leave you in a coma.

I don't really know you and haven't read any of your posts so I shouldn't have posted what I did above but...............You just contradicted your first post. It seems like you had a big fuckin problem. I don't know why you dumb fuckers do the shit you do.  
The dummies like you that  ive seen in my life are always breaking up causing drama and then getting back together. I'd say don't join the fucking army. It's full of morons just like you, what do you really think you and your army buddies are gonna be doing snorting pills and whatever else you all can find. It won't be some structured place that will keep make you change you'll get weak like you have been before get in with other guys like your self and do what you guys do. drugs then you'll possibly get some jail time and a dishonorable discharge.
    I say stick around stop putting shit in your body pay the bills get the girl and the kid back and be a man for them both.
         Or join the army get sent afgahnastan be away from them both for way to long and when you get back that door will have shut in your life and all you'll get out of it is a shitty childsupport wage garnishment every week. You have no choice but to fight this battle and win or your fucked in anything else your ever gonna want to do.  
   Lick my ballzz mother fucker because this isn't just rambling bullshit. I had a similer situation to yours just I'm not a junky I set my ship straight run it tight.  You can to if you don't bitch out and give in.

[DmC]

zing!!! all bullshit aside one addict to another nothing else matters at this point,not your kid not your apt.,not your girlfriend....your kid sounds like he is safe and in a good place focus on yourself and your DIS-EASE....if you get right with yourself everything else will fall into place nobody can do this for you...its gonna be a long journey but if you do the right thing you will be suprised by the outcome i guarntee that

That sounds like the biggest load of NA bullshit I have ever heard. If he WANTS to stop, or get control of a situation he will. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. It just takes a little bit of will power. Stop being a faggot

Somehow I don't believe you've ever "Been there before" Keelay, if you are using words like "will power"

Get off the fucking beans, if you can't I agree with DMC, put a bullet in your head.  Your child doesn't need a beanhead for a Dad, and the world doesn't need another one walking the streets.

Ahh I don't know the guy so I shouldn't have said that.  I do suspect that we may all be getting marcjed right now?
 

[90boostdaccord]

^^^ x1000.

you don't deserve to be a parent.  i hate people like you.  the big problem here isn't you fucking up your own life, the big problem here is you fucking up an innocent child's life.  why does he have to grow up in a fucked environment just because his parents are mindless losers?  put your kid up for adoption so he can have parents that want him in their lives.

You guys are making it seem like this is all her and I did, and neglected our child.. it's not like that at all. You're thinking crack heads, we were managing a normal life during the day and night, with a 40mg-80mg.. that's a regular prescribed amount and is just enough to give you a little buzz for the day..

i'm not going to sugar coat, or at least try not to.. yes, doing 80mg up the nose or iv is more intense than taking it orally, but it's still not going to leave you in a coma.

excuses only satisfy those who make them.  if you didn't neglect your family, then this post would be non-existent.

[2slow]

i grew up in florida. and one thing it taught me was to say fuck you to pill poppers. i wish they could invent something to kill you if you didnot have the problem the pill was prescribed for. those roxys should have never been invented i have seen way tomany good people turn to dogshit from it. alot of my friends in florida got caught up in that shit and your a trashy fucking loser just like all my old friends. fuck yourself and give your kid up for adoption.

[2slow]

^^^ x1000.

you don't deserve to be a parent.  i hate people like you.  the big problem here isn't you fucking up your own life, the big problem here is you fucking up an innocent child's life.  why does he have to grow up in a fucked environment just because his parents are mindless losers?  put your kid up for adoption so he can have parents that want him in their lives.

You guys are making it seem like this is all her and I did, and neglected our child.. it's not like that at all. You're thinking crack heads, we were managing a normal life during the day and night, with a 40mg-80mg.. that's a regular prescribed amount and is just enough to give you a little buzz for the day..

i'm not going to sugar coat, or at least try not to.. yes, doing 80mg up the nose or iv is more intense than taking it orally, but it's still not going to leave you in a coma.

fuck off man people who take roxu do just sit around and do it all day. the five mg pill will fuck you up so to do 80 a day is alot you fucking junkie. and to say you did an iv is just a sugar coatded way of waying you shot it up.

[highroller54]

BE A FUCKING DAD, NOT A PIECE OF SHIT.

[marcj]

BE A FUCKING DAD, NOT A PIECE OF SHIT.

heard.. I just made amends with her mom. she says i'm doing much better than lauren at this point. so I'm just going to keep plugging away at things I can do to reset my entire lifestyle permanently. Once I'm comfortable with myself, i'll try to get my kid back. In the mean time, I appreciate the constructive criticism some of you faggots have given me.

I'm still pretty set on joining the Army. I have a fairly high IQ, with almost a 4 year degree in biology/chemistry, and have worked in every aspect of computer science for the past 10 years. I'm pretty sure I'll be behind a computer or doing something medical when I get in. Either way, I won't be a bullet sponge.

[DmC]

BE A FUCKING DAD, NOT A PIECE OF SHIT.

I'm still pretty set on joining the Army. I have a fairly high IQ, with almost a 4 year degree in biology/chemistry, and have worked in every aspect of computer science for the past 10 years. I'm pretty sure I'll be behind a computer or doing something medical when I get in. Either way, I won't be a bullet sponge.

Man I'm not saying don't join the army thats a good thing to do. Just don't do it for the wrong reasons and really fuck up your next 4 years not to mention be liability to the guys around you.
 And I'm sure most jerk offs tell them selves they won't be put in danger because theyre better then everyone else somehow.

[keelay]

Somehow I don't believe you've ever "Been there before" Keelay, if you are using words like "will power"

I'm pretty fucking sure I have. You don't know me, so I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Look at my picture above. That's just 60mg. I've been pretty fucking bad off, and quit cold turkey. Yes the withdrawls suck dick. But it's nothing you can't handle with the right motivation. You have to WANT it. Have you ever been addicted to anything, Andy? I'm not saying you haven't, but I'm telling you MY story. I have been down that road, and never had to resort to clinics, or programs. And I have enough will power to now do some occasionally, but like I said earlier, I make sure it doesn't grab hold of me. No more than 2 consecutive days, period. I only do it now because I don't like to drink, and I have a FUCKED up back, and a trashed knee.

[Foowee]

Not all "friendly fire" is unintentional.  If I were in a warzone w/some tool snorting opiates to hide from the reality we're stuck in, I wouldn't hesitate to give them a great hiding spot... 

[hatchboy]

BE A FUCKING DAD, NOT A PIECE OF SHIT.

heard.. I just made amends with her mom. she says i'm doing much better than lauren at this point. so I'm just going to keep plugging away at things I can do to reset my entire lifestyle permanently. Once I'm comfortable with myself, i'll try to get my kid back. In the mean time, I appreciate the constructive criticism some of you faggots have given me.

I'm still pretty set on joining the Army. I have a fairly high IQ, with almost a 4 year degree in biology/chemistry, and have worked in every aspect of computer science for the past 10 years. I'm pretty sure I'll be behind a computer or doing something medical when I get in. Either way, I won't be a bullet sponge.

You just contradicted yourself. Nothing against you fellow nogs that went into the army but...... Why don't you examine some other options? Do something you will enjoy, what kind of things do you specialize in and what are you good at?

Once again, nothing against the army, its just, 95% of the people i know that went in, hated it and got out as soon as possible then ended up exactly where they were when they joined, or even worse due to going from structure, to no structure.

I personally love my job, and don't want to get out and will probably be a lifer, unless some things i have worked up with different agency's come through.

I am not a army hater, i am simply stating that examine ALL your options and branches before you make a blind choice. I know on my side of the world, warrant officer's really arn't thought highly of, i wouldn't want to be one. They don't quite fit in in the ward room with the rest of the O's and don't quite fit in with the E's, so most get out.

If you don't mind me asking, is there any legal obligations or issues that you may have that would limit you to the army? Like DUI's etc etc?