from washington state
so, i started out from Chehalis, WA in late may of this year(2009) and headed for Salt lake city Utah. i got pulled over once in oregon, and two times in idaho. im not sure why i didnt go to jail in oregon, but the cop must not have smelled the blunt i put out when i noticed him with his lights on behind me. a short time and a lot of fast-thinking and fast-talking later i was on the road with a warning to put on a front license plate. in idaho i got pulled over for a modified exhaust, but again, a warning, and was on my way. the second time i got pulled over in idaho was because the cop thought i was avoiding him and searched my car with his drug dog. lucky for me i smoked the last of my shit after the first idaho-cop exhaust warning. so, for my trip to the Salt Lake as far as getting pulled over and not getting a ticket, i went 3 for 3. My brother lived in the SLC for a job but got fired when the economy tanked, so he decided to get the fuck out of utah. and for all you sons of bitches that live in utah, i pity you fools.
so i get to salt lake, buy a truck, brother buys a trailer and we pack up his, his baby's moma's, and the keep-a-nigga baby's shit into the truck and trailer
this is my brother, the succubus, and their devil spawn i call "cry-baby-crapper-pants" serious, thats all my niece does. though i have faith that one day she'll learn how to use the credit card. the succubus is smiling because she pitched a huge ass fit to eat at this restaurant that was way over priced, and got her way. he's smiling because he doesn't have to listen to her bitch anymore...
here's me at the same restaurant, thinking i should have turned around in oregon just phoned it in, you know?
this was our convoy. the truck had some issues crop up after operating on the open highway for hours on end that weren't apparent during the around town shakedown. I would like to officially thank Jeff Frank and Joseph Davis for their help with over the phone troubleshooting and diagnostic. your guys' help was what helped me make it through
this is how we made the trip as cheap as we could. it wasnt really cool, because of the constant whine of the succubus bitch queen, but beer helped nullify the noise somewhat.
I will state now that all pictures i took were prompted by my brother and his bitch fighting. i wanted to document just how much shit she shoveled on him. here you can plainly see that she is not happy. the problem this time was that my brother apparently looked at her wrong. serious.
see the face palm? some might say that its there to shade his eyes from the sun, but we all know better. the truth is that he would willingly stare into the sun and let it burn out his retinas if it would take away from the pain of her constant nagging. brother, all i can say is, you poor bastard.
this is not the same picture. i had to take two pictures of this situation to just underline how fucking ridiculous this bitch was being.
the only time, ever, that her voice is not heard- when shes sleeping. thank you jebus
God dammit! you woke the beast! i felt like the first lord of the rings movie when Gandolph is hanging on the ledge in the depths of Moria while fighting that fire demon and the he say's "run you fools" yeah, it was like that.
see her looking at the camera, i think she noticed i only take their pictures when they are fighting. notice my brother with the "what have i done?" pose
this is what's called angry horizon staring. so angry all you can do is focus on the horizon because you don't want to look at eachother. ahhh young ill-legitimate child having love.
my pimpjuice, the turbo hatch. my ponies grazing on the grass, just chilling in a field.
i told my brother that there was a rest area just 10 miles down the freeway. he says, "yeah, but then she'll want to get out of the car. turning this quick pit stop into a 45 minute jaw jacking ordeal." i reply, "i understand"
my pimpjuice again, this time in the south eastern part of colorado. at this point i consider leaving them in cloud of unburnt fuel, but decided against it. he had the fuel card.
me chilling in my pimpjuice so i wouldnt have hear the two of the argue about shit that dont matter. at this point we were in NM and of course, she had something to complain about.
the convoy in Albuquerque.
i was pretty far away, but i know they were fighting because i could hear them. and so could everyone else at that gas station. talk about being embarrassed to be traveling with them.
this was near roswell, NM and we didnt make it to the campground until dark, obviously. she put her bitch down and demanded a hotel room. one of those people who you just cant make happy. my brother has engaged himself in an eternal struggle
the next day i stopped at this old and abandoned gas station in the ranch lands of texas to reset my ecu. i liked texas a lot. there was hardly any cops and the roads are in good repair. very important when your boosting at an average of 90mph. i crossed the state of texas in ~12 hrs
somehow, my dizzy cap bolts all decided to unbolt themselves and grow legs, so i had to improvise. notice the earphone mcgyverism. also my submission to the ifixedit thread. this was in Louisiana, i spent two days waiting for the parts to come in.
i already showed you my $.02 security system for staying in New Orleans. well the sucubus was good for something. she was good for the aunt and uncle that lived in New Orleans, and they let us stay there. it was pretty tight.
we finally make it to florida... my poor brother, i can only imagine what she's bitching about now. look at that hand on hip action. that's like women's finishing move. Ryu has Hadouken, women have hand on hip. if you in an argument and you see a hand on hip, abandon all hope
the last picture before we made to where we're staying. she's bitching about something, but by this time, i consider my brother a pussy and hope that in death(marrage) he will find his peace. i know that succubus has captured and enslaved your soul... godspeed brother
ending up at the atlantic ocean in Daytona beach A1A
Coast to Coast on a FMU!
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Topic: My failure vacation (updated comments) (Read 7935 times)