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Author Topic: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?  (Read 13722 times)

j.h.christ

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #30 on: May 30, 2010, 05:50:05 AM »

port the hole larger

with what? drilling a cased hole down that deep would be next to impossible. the geometry would have to be perfect, aka not possible.
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crttaz

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #31 on: May 30, 2010, 06:44:55 AM »

easy fix, cap the hole with Jeremy's widebody ass.

win-win right????
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hotrex

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #33 on: May 30, 2010, 11:23:25 AM »

i would setup a rig much like a test ball for ductile iron lines with an inflatable rubber ball at the end.   plunge the rod into the pipe far enough to get good bite with the ball and inflate it with nitrogen.   or some other gas that does not fluctuate density with temperature change.  have a hook on the ball like and a pincher release mechanism on the pole/  once the ball is inflated and the oil is pinched off release the grapple  pull the rod up and drink beers to celebrate success
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hotrex

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #34 on: May 30, 2010, 11:25:39 AM »

or if u wanted to get creative u could excite 30 or 40 male horses.  clampo off their boners, extract them, tie then together and then shoot them into the pipe with johnnys moms pussy
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Joseph Davis

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #35 on: May 30, 2010, 11:39:41 AM »

Sheer genius.

sewell94

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #36 on: May 30, 2010, 12:16:04 PM »

or if u wanted to get creative u could excite 30 or 40 male horses.  clampo off their boners, extract them, tie then together and then shoot them into the pipe with johnnys moms pussy

I lol'd
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N1 Andy

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #37 on: May 30, 2010, 12:27:48 PM »

in russia when is time to fix we make big metal hat then drop on

promise wont go no where!

think like this... big metal hat... drop down on - then oil live in hat, hat too heavy to go away! the end.



Is this what you are suggesting? We should forward this technical drawing to the White House, anyone have Obama's email address?
« Last Edit: May 30, 2010, 12:29:57 PM by N1 Andy »
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CSaddict

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #38 on: May 30, 2010, 12:54:32 PM »

They should stuff Haiti in the fucking hole. 2 problems solved.

You're welcome world.
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Joseph Davis

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #39 on: May 30, 2010, 01:01:51 PM »

THIS THREAD IS FULL OF BRILLIANCE

SDRAWKCAB

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #40 on: May 30, 2010, 01:25:31 PM »

2 darkies one headshot.  O0
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Jorsher

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #41 on: May 30, 2010, 02:09:54 PM »



Apparently they're planning to pump it to the moon where there won't be any environmental consequences.
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Foowee

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #42 on: May 30, 2010, 02:18:29 PM »

Okay, so now we're gonna put the moon in geosynchronous orbit?  No more tidal shifting...

We need to get dmc in here with his solar sails... 
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Jorsher

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #43 on: May 30, 2010, 02:20:22 PM »

Okay, so now we're gonna put the moon in geosynchronous orbit?  No more tidal shifting...

We need to get dmc in here with his solar sails... 

Nope, flexible dildo sir.
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HiProfile

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #44 on: May 30, 2010, 02:23:18 PM »

2 darkies one headshot.  O0


That would be great. Oil is less dense, and is shooting straight up. Start sucking the water, seperate it, profit.
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arsenio

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #45 on: May 30, 2010, 02:49:29 PM »

or if u wanted to get creative u could excite 30 or 40 male horses.  clampo off their boners, extract them, tie then together and then shoot them into the pipe with johnnys moms pussy

It would look something like this.

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Joseph Davis

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #46 on: May 30, 2010, 02:55:56 PM »

Okay, so now we're gonna put the moon in geosynchronous orbit?  No more tidal shifting...

We need to get dmc in here with his solar sails... 

Nope, flexible dildo sir.

Phototropic dildo, you mean.

Doug

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #47 on: May 30, 2010, 07:03:44 PM »

problem solved

SDRAWKCAB

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #48 on: May 30, 2010, 09:23:00 PM »

problem solved



He would float and is all spongy.
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rsmith2786

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #49 on: May 31, 2010, 11:28:43 AM »

2200 psi is nothing.  That riser is good for at least 6 thousand.  It's a really complicated problem though.  The riser is twisted like a pretzel and is leaking in a few areas.  Do you risk cutting the riser to give better access to plug it?  If things go wrong you'll have a hell of a lot more flow but there is a decent chance of success.  I don't know if you guys are familar with how a BOP works but it's basically designed to detect blowout through the rapid increase in pressure and force HUGE rams shut.  These rams are designed to slice through whatever is in it's way...including large diameter 1''+ wall pipe.  It sounds like something went wrong or the BOP was undersized at it wasn't able to shear whatever was in its way.  Since it's partially closed a junk shot has a decent chance of working.  The top kill had no chance of working.  The flow was too high for the relatively small difference in density.  Maybe if they used mercury or something it would have had a chance, haha.  It looks like the relief well is what we'll be waiting for.  I think they should just cut right at the mud mat and be ready with 5000 feet of 36''X2'' or larger pipe.  Whatever it takes to get around everything.  Then just drive it in over everything.  Drive it down a hundred feet or so into the mud.  Out in the golf it's common to drive pipe down like that since the ground is so soft.  Another idea would be a large explosive device to try to collapse the hole.  However, in order to do that you'd need to cut the pipe.  Very risky if things don't work.
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arsenio

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #50 on: May 31, 2010, 11:43:33 AM »

Oil and water don't mix. Just collect the oil at the surface and turn into gasoline.
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rawr2d2

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #51 on: May 31, 2010, 01:18:38 PM »

Oil and water don't mix. Just collect the oil at the surface and turn into gasoline.

oil and water don't mix but oil and water can be mixed with molecules with a polar and non polar head.



I say we catch it on fire and burn the golf coast.
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t_cel_t

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #52 on: May 31, 2010, 02:36:23 PM »

Oil and water don't mix. Just collect the oil at the surface and turn into gasoline.
emulsification
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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #53 on: May 31, 2010, 05:20:19 PM »

hilarity in this thread. lol
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lsone_chevelle

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #54 on: May 31, 2010, 10:33:56 PM »

i would setup a rig much like a test ball for ductile iron lines with an inflatable rubber ball at the end.   plunge the rod into the pipe far enough to get good bite with the ball and inflate it with nitrogen.   or some other gas that does not fluctuate density with temperature change.  have a hook on the ball like and a pincher release mechanism on the pole/  once the ball is inflated and the oil is pinched off release the grapple  pull the rod up and drink beers to celebrate success

only thing I would add to this is some sort of internal pipe dies to all a solid grab on the pipe, then utilize the rubber ball to do th sealing. DONE. You and I, millionhairs.

NaturalDecimal

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #55 on: June 01, 2010, 06:23:42 PM »

in russia when is time to fix we make big metal hat then drop on

promise wont go no where!

think like this... big metal hat... drop down on - then oil live in hat, hat too heavy to go away! the end.



Is this what you are suggesting? We should forward this technical drawing to the White House, anyone have Obama's email address?


I email this picture and my proposal to president but no response. Email BP, and 10 minute later they send me thank you card in mail, say I hero, they doing now.

"The company is, however, trying another risky temporary fix to contain the oil and siphon it to the surface by sawing through the leaking pipe and putting a cap over the spill."
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Travis

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #56 on: June 01, 2010, 06:56:03 PM »

turn off the valve

well if the BOPs were checked like they were supposed to be, it would have been that simple....

halliburton fuck something up?? never... ::)



hallibortion*, those guys are fucking morons, just as much as weatherford. i love when they come out to the rig, pure entertainment

lsone_chevelle

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #57 on: June 01, 2010, 07:56:25 PM »

turn off the valve

well if the BOPs were checked like they were supposed to be, it would have been that simple....

halliburton fuck something up?? never... ::)



hallibortion*, those guys are fucking morons, just as much as weatherford. i love when they come out to the rig, pure entertainment

crazy, we call them that up in Canada too. Retards

rawr2d2

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #58 on: June 03, 2010, 01:46:31 AM »

canadatards.
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drivin96

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Re: If you wanted to plug a hole in the ocean, how would you do it?
« Reply #59 on: June 03, 2010, 01:16:08 PM »

to control the population i say just plug it with a 1/4 of all asians ..problem solved ...... or use the pope ...he'll plug any young hole
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